As my friend Otter Disaster has often said, “In a straight fight, a shark will always beat a Dracula.” That’s why the OSS got themselves a Frankenstein and a Wolfman, too! Your Major Spoilers Retro Review of Weird War Tales #93 awaits!

WEIRD WAR TALES #93

Writer:  J. M. DeMatteis
Penciler: Pat Broderick
Inker: John Celardo
Colorist: Adrienne Roy
Letterer: Ben Oda/Todd Klein
Editor: Len Wein
Publisher: DC Comics
Cover Price: 50 Cents
Current Near-Mint Pricing: $80.00
Release Date: July 22, 1980

Previously in Weird War Tales: Launched in 1971, Weird War Tales differed from the war books of previous ages, instead presenting war stories that included elements of science fiction, horror, mystery, and other genre tropes, hosted by a literal embodiment of Death. (Weirdly, Marvel Comics ALSO featured a Death-hosted war comic, War Is Hell, during the same era. I suspect that it was the Vietnam War influencing the way these stories were presented.) Throughout the ’70s, the book presented us with ghosts, robots, and The War That Time Forgot, a recurring feature wherein WWII soldiers faced down dinosaurs in the Pacific. This story also takes place during the Big One, circa 1942, at a secret base somewhere in the Midwest, home of Project M.

The M, as you’ve certainly already guessed, is for “Monster”, and they’ve been busy little bees. Thanks to Project M ramrod Lieutenant Matthew Shrieve, the U.S. Army has reverse-engineered a vampire, constructed their very own flesh golem, and recruited an honest-to-Warren-Zevon lycanthrope. Shrieve’s horrified commanding officer roars that he never wants to see these Creature Commandos again… so he sends them to the European front, under Shrieve’s command.

Though only three in number, the Commandos parachute into France and cut through the front lines and into occupied France like the proverbial hot knife through butter. Making their way to an ancient castle in the forest, the team’s combination of power and stealth proves that, no matter how ludicrous, they are extremely effective. The art in this story is handled by Pat Broderick, who at the same time was penciling Micronauts at Marvel Comics, making for an interesting contrast in styles. His take on 1942 still has a lot of 1980 in it (especially in Velcro’s stylish turtleneck), but never breaks my suspension of disbelief.

Of course, they don’t get along particularly well while they’re ripping enemy soldiers to shreds. Arrogant pseudo-vampire Vincent Velcro finds both his companions contemptible, while good ol’ boy Private Warren Griffith vacillates from milquetoast to out-of-control slavering whirlwind of violence. As for “Lucky,” the being formerly known as Elliot Taylor can’t quite speak through his ruined vocal cords, but is somehow the most human of the group, Shrieve included. He’s also quite perceptive, managing to figure out the secret of Castle Conquest and the potentially world-shattering Axis plot contained within.

Aha! The ol’ android duplicate of the President routine, eh? Who’d’a seen that coming?

Well, Lieutenant Shrieve, for one, as he quickly drops his satchel and orders his misfit battalion to retreat, in a manner most hasty.

When you’re trying to outrun a couple of bricks of C-4, it doesn’t hurt to have supernatural powers, is what I’m saying. As for the Creature Commandos, their adventures continued periodically through to the end of this title, which actually sounds more impressive than it is, as the title ends with #124, not quite three years later. As the first of their 18 appearances, Weird War Tales #93 makes excellent use of the space allotted to introduce the concepts and characters, get them into the field, and take out their first slightly goofy Nazi world-beating plot, with art that’s a little bit busy but overwise fun, earning 3.5 out of 5 stars overall. It’s easy to mock the concept of monster soldiers, but it’s actually just ahead of its time.

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