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    Ten Things

    Ten Things: Fourth Of July Bonus Edition!

    Matthew PetersonBy Matthew PetersonJuly 4, 2015Updated:July 5, 20202 Comments5 Mins Read

    Today is Independence Day in the United States, a day that tends to be celebrated by relaxing, perhaps enjoying your beverage of choice with those you love, and, of course: Fireworks! Here at Major Spoilers, we love comics, and we know you do, too, and thus, our fireworks might be a bit different from what you might expect… Welcome to Ten (Or More) Things!

    The origin of the modern superhero myth dates back to the late 1930s, a time of world war, and it’s no coincidence that a major upswing in popularity of comic books coincided with America’s entry into the war, and beginning in 1941 with the first patriotic hero (stay tuned for that story), the red-white-and-blue two-fisted hero has become a staple of the comic book industry…

    Thus, Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with ‘An Amateur Comics Historian’, and ‘The Mysterious Dr. Reinstein’, Presents:

    TEN TWENTY-FIVE STAR-SPANGLED PATRIOTIC HEROES!

    25) SKYROCKET

    Skyrocket

    Her electromagnetic Argo Harness allows her to make her own fireworks as a member of The Power Company…

     

    24) MISTER U.S.

    Mister U.S.

    An archetypical hero, whose cyborg enhancements included titanium arches to repair his flat feet…

    Yes, really!

     

    23) THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO

    Ralph Hinkley

    Ralph Hinkley (aka Ralph Hanley) gained his powered uniform from aliens, but accidentally lost the operating instructions.  Wackiness ensued…

     

    22) U.S. BILL

    US Bill

    The strongman of The Specials may fall short in intellect, but he makes up for it in heart and sheer guts…

     

    21) THE EAGLE (AND BUDDY)

    Eagle I

    A minor Golden Age hero from Fox Feature Comics, his striped cape was the height of fashion circa 1940!

     

    20) CAPTAIN FLAG

    Captain Flag

    You might have thought I was kidding, but Archie Comics’ Captain Flag followed suit (and striped cape) soon after…

     

    19) THE ALL-AMERICAN (AND SLUGGER)

    All-American & Slugger

    Astro City’s sporting avenger and his kid sidekick operated in the forties, at the height of the patriotic hero craze…

     

    18) MAJOR VICTORY

    Major Victory I

    As with all the Harry “A” Chesler heroes, Major Victory wasn’t around for long, but his adventures featured some wonderful art…

     

    17) LIBERTY GIRL

    Liberty Girl

    Liberty Girl is part of The Front Line, a team of heroes created to fill in the gaps in the ever-expanding Marvel Universe timeline, as seen in ‘Marvel: The Lost Generation.’

     

    16) IRON PATRIOT

    Iron Patriot

    After focus groups deemed the named ‘War Machine’ unpalatable, Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes changed his look and his name…

     

    15) COMMANDER STEEL

    Commander Steel

    Initially just ‘Steel: The Indestructible Man’, a hybrid of Captain America and the Six-Million-Dollar Man, Hank Heywood received a field promotion and later joined the All-Star Squadron…

     

    14) U.S. ANGEL

    USAngel

    A WWII aviator, he was shot down and became an actual angel, giving him abilities which he used to fight evil…

     

    13) BIG CRABB

    Crabb

    Noted entomologist Bob Crabb was mutated by aliens into a powerful insect/human hybrid, using his powers to defend the world alongside fellow bug-folk Mikros and Saltarella.

     

    12) PAT PATRIOT

    Pat Patriot

    A two-fisted Golden Age hero, Pat didn’t have the staying power of Wonder Woman, but her fashion sense (and her right cross) are impeccable…

     

    11) CAPTAIN AMERICA

    Captain America (Sam Wilson)

    A long-time ally of Captain America, Sam Wilson kept his Falcon wings when he stepped up to take over Steve Rogers red-white-and-blue role…

     

    10) FIGHTING YANK

    Fighting-Yank

    A minor hero from Better Comics, circa 1941, I love his whole costume, especially that it looks like he’s wearing a souvenir t-shirt…

     

    9) FIGHTING AMERICAN

    Fighting American

    Created by Simon and Kirby after they stopped working on Captain America, his adventures were a more tongue-in-cheek look at nationalistic fervor, years ahead of their time…

     

    8) AMERICAN DREAM

    American Dream

    Sharon Carter’s niece, Shannon, possesses the skill (in both combat AND leadership) to serve as Captain America’s successor in Marvel’s future MC2 universe…

     

    7) U.S. AGENT

    U.S. Agent

    John Walker was chosen by the government to take over as Captain America, but repurposed Steve Rogers’ uniform as ‘The Captain’ when Steve returned to the red-white-and-blues…

     

    6) AMERICAN EAGLE

    American Eagle

    Though his original costume was pretty stereotypical, Jason Strongbow is one of Marvel’s most under-utilized cool heroes…

     

    5) AMERICAN MAID

    American Maid

    The world of The Tick has hundreds of heroes, but only a few who are truly good at their job.  American Maid is the best and most effective of all…

     

    4) MINUTE-MAN

    Minute-Man

    The vast majority of reworked stars-and-stripes flag-inspired uniforms are garish messes, Minute-Man has one of the absolute coolest…

     

    3) THE SHIELD

    Shield I

    The original patriotic hero, predating even Captain America himself, Archie Comics’ Shield has a long (if somewhat erratic) history of heroism…

     

    2) CAPTAIN AMERICA

    Captain America TV

    You kids today don’t know how good you have it with your superhero adaptations, as when I was a kid, Captain America had a Flexible Flyer for a shield and a spandex leotard costume.

     

    1) MISS AMERICA

    Miss America II

    She’s beauty, she’s grace…

    She’ll punch you in the face.  That’s pretty much what you need to know…

    Feel free to follow along (@MightyKingCobra) for more Ten Things madness on Twitter, including a little something to accompany this list! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, but for the record, I tried. Either way, the comments section is Below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!

    [signoff predefined=”PayPal Donation” icon=”icon-cog”][/signoff]
    American Dream American Eagle American Maid Astro City Captain America Captain Flag Commander Steel Fighting American Fighting Yank Greatest American Hero james rhodes MC2 Minute-Man Miss America Mister U.S. Ten Things The Eagle the shield The Specials the tick u.s. agent Young Avengers
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    Matthew Peterson
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    Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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    2 Comments

    1. Mauther on July 6, 2015 4:09 pm

      Came here late to give you grief for missing one. Especially since its Astro City. I’d submit Old Soldier

      Reply
      • Matthew Peterson on July 6, 2015 6:06 pm

        A great call!

        Of course, “missed” is relative. Remember the part where I said there was a little bit more on my Twitter?

        https://storify.com/MightyKingCobra/ten-times-ten-patriotic-super-dupers

        I recommend #82. :)

        Reply

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