REVIEW: All-New X-Men #17

Temporal anomalies are threatening to destroy the future, thanks to the near-death of Cyclops from the past.  Now, the X-Men of the future have come back to the present to…

…Wait.  The future X-Men of the past…

Um.  That’s not…

Skip it.  Your Major Spoilers review awaits…

ALL-NEW X-MEN #17
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Inker: Wade Von Grawbadger
Letterer: VC’s Cory Petit
Colorist: Marte Garcia
Editor: Nick Lowe
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Cover Price: $3.99

Previously in All-New X-Men: The original X-Men were plucked out of the timestream some months ago, but it wasn’t until Cyclops was nearly fatally wounded that the ramifications of that became clear, as the universe nearly unraveled for want of a Summers brother.  The modern-day X-Men are determined to send their younger selves back from whence they came, but the kids aren’t all that interested in listening, and Cyclops and Marvel Girl have gone walkabout.  That’s when the future X-Men started showin’ up…

IT’S JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT…

So, we’re in the midst of a big crossover storyline, involving multiple X-titles, with time travel at the forefront of issues, and the casts merged and doing the old do-si-do back and forth through our story.  It’s hard for me to assess something like this without remembering the likes of ‘X-Tinction Agenda’ and its ilk back in the day, especially the notorious issue of X-Factor which starred Wolverine and Cable, neither of whom were part of the X-Factor team.  Still, Bendis has a way of making retro stuff seem fresh, and Stuart Immonen is one of my favorite artists, so I was ready to give this issue a chance.  On the first read-through, I expected where the story was going, but was a little shocked when it suddenly just… ended.  Going back through the book, I did a quick page count, and realized that this issue features only 17 pages of actual story, yet is still priced as a $3.99 title, meaning that Chapter Six of the big crossover madness actually cost me nearly a quarter per page, as opposed to 15 cents per page for a 20 page book at $2.99.

…AND THEN A STEP TO THE RIGHT.

Adding insult to that minor injury, most of this issue takes place in the future, a world where the X-Men are apparently led by Jubilee, and number an ancient Iceman, a Phoenix-possessed Quentin Quire and a Stalin-mustachioed Colossus among their numbers.  Unless there’s some heavy explanation in Chapter Five, though, much of the makeup of this team remains unexplained, thanks to the brevity of the issue.  There is some nice world-building future stuff on display, but I can’t help but find it all a little repetitious coming this close on the heels of the time-travel antics of Age of Ultron, and while it’s kind of cool to see the designs of the future mutants (especially the ultra-mutated Beast), there’s not a lot of story to support Immonen’s neat character work.  I expect that this will read much smoother as part of the inevitable TPB/Hardcover collection a few months from now, but as a single issue, it’s little more than a couple of vignettes tied together with a few clichéd chestnuts about “cannot know your destiny” and “changing the timestream.”

THE BOTTOM LINE: KINDA TIRED OF TIME-TRAVEL NONSENSE…

Even having read the first three chapters of the crossover, there’s a large disconnect for me getting into Chapter Six, and the pricing issue really does stick in my craw, especially given that this issue is really more like half an issue.  All-New X-Men #17 looks pretty amazing, admittedly, with some nice designs and craft, but not a lot of story to be had, and the lion’s share of the character work devoted to an YET ANOTHER alternate future reality in the X-Men’s array thereof, earning a very disappointed 1.5 out of 5 stars overall.  It is possible to deliver a chapter of a big crossover shmageggi and still have it be a coherent single issue of comics, but sadly, this book isn’t it…