Written communication can be more difficult than spoken conversation, due in part to a lack of tone and vocal cues. Fortunately, cell phone culture has found a way around all that! Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Supers Wearing Emojis!

Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and Sir Patrick Stewart, for some reason, Presents:

TEN THINGS: TEN SUPERS WEARING EMOJIS!

One caveat to today’s list: These are the emojis I see as an Android user. Your emojis may not look the same, some exceptions apply, not valid in all fifty states. (Sorry, Tennessee!)

10) HELLSTORM – Trident Emblem

Originally adventuring under the very problematic moniker of The Son of Satan, Daimon Hellstrom is… literally that, actually. His father, Marduk Kurios, is one of several demons in the Marvel Universe to pose as the biblical Satan. After losing his Darksoul, Daimon used his mystical knowledge and a little magic to return to action as a magical investigator. Given that his first nom de guerre was incredibly literal and his second is just an anagram of his surname, you have to figure that creativity is not among his infernal powers.

9) THE PUNISHER – Skull

Born Francis Castiglione, military vet Frank Castle was traumatized watching his wife and children killed after the family witnessed a mob hit. Taking matters into his own hands, Castle became The Punisher, embarking on a long career of killing bad guys to death. Everyone knows that you don’t talk about the time he was killed and resurrected as an angelic avenger, but I feel like not enough people remember his ’90s ponytail phase.

I’m still waiting to see if his recent turn as a ninja enforcer ends up being brilliant or embarrassing in the long run.

8) BLAZING TORNADO – Tornado

A martial artist since the age of 5, Jin Ryusaki can manipulate both wind and fire in battle, generating wind forces capable of slicing through solid steel, while enwrapping his limbs in fire that somehow enhances his strength. A comic writer by day, Blazing Tornado initially tried to call himself The Dark Dragon, but found that the public was as afraid of him as any masked villain. With his new, brighter costume and attitude, he protects his home city of Montreal as well as adventuring with super-team The First Guard.

7) SENSEI X – Yin Yang

Another master of martial arts, Sensei X is a member of the Argo Comics stable of characters and a member of the super-team called Death Squad. Little is known of his background or history, but what is known is that he and his team are a celebration of the comics of the 1990s.

Whether that’s a good thing or not is in the eye of the beholder, but I can tell you that any black-and-red superhero costume is okay by me.

6) DECIBEL – Bullseye

And hey, speaking of the ’90s? Able to manipulate sound, Decibel was a member of the ExxxTREEEEEME super-squad known as Heavy Mettle, a team of cannons so loose that the U.S. Government enlisted the ultra-powerful Supreme to keep them in check. None of the members of Heavy Mettle were particularly memorable, so they were quickly eclipsed by their new leader, who has had a few memorable comic runs in his history.

Decibel’s whereabouts are unknown.

5) THE MOLECULE MASTER – Atomic Symbol

A failed applicant for the Legion of Super-Heroes, Molecule Master almost made the cut, but was stopped by Legionnaire Wildfire, who then got the open slot in the team’s roster. Ol’ Molly was discovered to be an android created by The Time Trapper to steal the Miracle Machine (a device that would allow its user to literally do or create ANYTHING) from the Legion’s vaults. He later appeared during the interminable saga of Reflecto, which was itself a reference to a 1967 issue where a story of the Legion’s future. (A barely-glimpsed statue of a dead Reflecto was seen, mentioning his death at the hands of the Molecule Master, one of a number of tiny details in that story that later become larger Legion tales.

4) SHUFFLE – Shuffle Tracks Button

When a random burst of cosmic energy struck David’s vintage MP3 player, it was transmogrified into a suit of battle armor, powered by music. An interesting example of a multimedia superhero tale, Shuffle’s comic debut came with a track listing that served as soundtrack to the story. It’s never easy to use music in a comic book story, but I have to admit, this is one where the hook got my attention.

3) SHALOMAN – The Hebrew Letter ‘Shin’

Okay, sure, fine. ש isn’t exactly an emoji so much as a letter of a different alphabet, but the first list of Ten Things is “My list, my rules.” Besides, the legendary independent comics hero Shaloman doesn’t get nearly enough love, even after a 35-year publishing history.  A mystical being who can inhabit a stone carving when innocents are in need, Shaloman was created to fill the void of powerful Jewish superheroes circa 1988. I’ve read online that he has since acquired a cyborg sidekick called Shalomboy, but I haven’t yet been able to find any issues featuring the kid.

2) BLUE DOLPHIN – Dolphin

The Blue Ranger of Choujuu Sentai Liveman, Megumi Misaki watched several of her friends turn evil and use their brilliance for super-villainy. Creating her own powers and uniform, Blue Dolphin set out to stop them and the evil terrorist organization called Volt. One of several Sentai teams to start with only three members, Liveman later added both a Black and a Green Ranger to their ranks, making them the first team to have Rangers of both colors.

1) THE #$%& KING – Pile of Poo

After being struck by the feces of giant lizard Fin Fang Foom, Alex gained the ability to emit a terrible smell at will, while the rest of his family was tragically killed. Dubbed himself The #$%& King, he became a hitman for the mafia, Ashamed of his power, his choices, and his deadly aroma, Alex chose to get counseling, which was a really good idea.

Unfortunately, his counselor was Foolkiller Greg Salinger, who killed him dead, fulfilling both the “killing of fools” part and ending the torment and mockery that was the life of The #$%& King. It’s less cruel than it sounds… I think.

Once again, this week’s topic, Ten Supers Wearing Emojis, is all me, but feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra to suggest a topic of your own! There’s always more Ten Things madness on my Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because the Kids Today don’t like emojis the way us old folks did. Either way, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!

---

Dear Spoilerite,

At Major Spoilers, we strive to create original content that you find interesting and entertaining. Producing, writing, recording, editing, and researching requires significant resources. We pay writers, podcast hosts, and other staff members who work tirelessly to provide you with insights into the comic book, gaming, and pop culture industries. Help us keep MajorSpoilers.com strong. Become a Patron (and our superhero) today.