He can make any problem go away, as long as the problem can be shot. But he has an unexpected problem of his own. Your Major Spoilers Retro Review of Scud The Disposable Assassin #1 awaits!

SCUD THE DISPOSABLE ASSASSIN #1

Writer:  Rob Schrab
Penciler: Rob Schrab
Inker: Rob Schrab
Colorist: Jack Gray and Eric Wiese
Letterer: Rob Schrab
Cover Price: $2.95
Current Near-Mint Pricing: $40.00
Release Date: February 15, 1994

Previously in Scud The Disposable Assassin: In the future, everything is for sale, and everything is disposable. That includes assassins, such as the Heart Breaker series disposable androids, available for three Franks at vending machines everywhere. The model 1373 is the latest of the series, a high-tech warrior who will kill whatever you wish, then self-destruct once their mission is complete.

That’s good news for Hershell, an employee of Marvin’s Manikins whose boss, Mister Spidergod, has commanded him to get rid of a “pest” that lives in the basement of company headquarters.

As a relatively ineffectual middle-management drone, Hershell lacks the courage necessary to battle a monster in the basement, not to mention any combat skills. What he does have is a pocketful of coins, which leads to the introduction of our hero!

This 1373, who will become known as Scud, steps out of the machine ready to take on his job, and Hershell provides a disk with all the relevant details (none of which are supplied to the readers, other than the fact that whatever he is going to kill has already murdered TWENTY-THREE Marvin’s Manikins employees. Of course, none of that particularly matters to the disposable assassin. He knows what he needs to know: That the creature can be shot.

What follows is a fifteen-page battle sequence of remarkable inventiveness, with Scud engaging the monster, screaming pop-culture non-sequiturs out of the mouths on its knees, all the while chasing through the sub-basements of Marvin’s Manikins. Having been around for the independent comics book of the early 1990s, I can tell you that Schrab’s clever layouts and wild artistic choices stood out from the pack even then. The coloring in this issue (which is from a second printing of the book, the only copy that I own) is likewise a standout, taking a subtler approach than most ’90s computer coloring. The first pause in the action comes as Scud has to wash some squid ink off his optical sensors.

What the squid was doing in the monster’s belt is left to the reader’s imagination.

I’ve never been quite clear on how much sentience the Heart Breaker droids are supposed to have, but Scud’s realization that completing his mission means his death causes him to change tactics. Rather than kill the creature (whose name, we will eventually learn, is Jeff, Fourth Horseman of The Apocalypse), he blasts all four of her limbs off, leaving her alive but immobile, then calls an ambulance.

With the realization that he has to keep Jeff alive to maintain his own existence, Scud then decides to start a career as a freelance gun-for-hire. It’s a very clear, very well-handled ending for an issue that provides a clear, creative premise and executes it well. Scud The Disposable Assassin #1 still holds up thirty years later, and even though it’s 70% fight scene, it’s a well-executed, exciting, and funny fight scene, wrapping up to 3.5 out of 5 stars overall. Best of all for modern readers, though Scud’s tale spent the better part of a decade as one of the great unfinished stories, Schrab returned to complete the story in 2008, with Image Comics releasing a trade paperback of all 24 issues, completing the Scud saga.

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