The Coogan Definition of a superhero requires skills or power, a pro-social agenda, and a specific mode of dress, but not every superhero wants to be known as Something-Woman. Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Supers With No Alias!

Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and horror impresario Mia Goth, who was somehow actually named Mia Goth, Presents:

TEN THINGS: TEN SUPERS WITH NO ALIAS!

10) ZODON

A student at PS238, the first public school for superhuman children, Zodon Gorczinski is an absolute genius with a cynical streak as long as the list of curse words he knows. Fortunately, his cybernetic systems have an onboard Barry Ween Chip to keep him from corrupting the other children in his class. Though most of his peers seem to be in the eight to eleven-year-old range, Zodon is only five years old. Always seen in his hoverchair, it’s unclear whether or not he can actually walk.

9) MEI HATSUME

The proverbial gadgeteer genius, Mei is a student at U.A. High School, the setting of My Hero Academia. Due to her power of enhanced vision, she’s not the most combat-ready, and is thus in Class 1-H, the Department of Support. An assertive Type-A personality, Mei is not only an inventor, but skilled at interacting with and/or manipulating others and has a head for business, making her a triple threat if she ever went into TV/film stunt work.

8) RICK GRIMES 2000

In an alternate reality to the world of The Walking Dead, police officer Rick Grimes discovered that the zombie plague was the work of aliens. With his severed hand replaced with a cybernetic one, Rick set out to thwart the invasion and his evil counterpart, The Governor. It’s as silly and over-the-top as it sounds, but I have to say, it’s also an enjoyable adventure.

Stupid and goofy as all hell, but enjoyable.

7) JOHNNY STORM

On Earth-8212, Ben Grimm talked his old friend out of prematurely launching his experimental rocket, avoiding the cosmic ray storm and thus, never gaining superpowers. Instead, The Richards Rocket Group becomes the first private space agency, with Reed, Sue, Ben and Johnny as their core exploration team. Rather than becoming a Human Torch, Johnny Storm uses his mechanical aptitude and sheer courage to stave off The Mole Man and others, even going hand-to-hand with Pharaoh Rama-Tut to protect reality. Not bad for a kid with no powers.

6) RENO JONES

Having grown up in the Southern U.S. under slavery, Reno Jones returned from the Civil War to find his lady love missing. Teaming with her brother, who became known as Kid Cassidy, they became the riders known as The Gunhawks. Paying their bills by hunting bison, Reno and Cassidy were able to find the missing Rachel, but Kid Cassidy was killed, with Reno being blamed. Going on the run, wanted for a murder he didn’t commit, Reno eventually settled down in the town of Wonderment, Montana, marrying, and starting a family.

With a name like Reno Jones, who needs a cool gunslingin’ alias?

5) GLORIA BAKER

The sole female agent of the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand (which is pretty impressive, though it does remind us that 1985 was even more sexist than 2022, and 2022 is hella sexist), Gloria specializes in archaeology and anthropology, with a bit of engineering thrown in. She’s also an expert martial artist, a champion driver, and the regular pilot of the amphibious Shark, a Porsche that transforms into a submarine. She once had a Lamborghini/Attack Helicopter, but that was just apparently just for funsies.

4) VOLAR

And hey, speaking of sexism? Volar was picked by a computer as Supergirl’s perfect match, with powers and abilities comparable to her own. Unfortunately, planet Torma operated under the belief that women were entirely inferior and had to follow the dictates of superior men in all things. Naturally, this did not endear them or Volar to Supergirl, but she made an effort to appreciate the young hero anyway in the hopes that the computer knew something she didn’t. Finally, Volar had to reveal their big secret to get rid of Supergirl!

Volar was a straight woman under the perfectly realistic rubber mask, and had no interest in dating the Girl of Steel. But, she was able to continue her career, abandoning the pretense of her boy self and braving the possible mocker of her people to fight as a woman and (hopefully) changing her world for the better.

(In the absence of evidence to the contrary, I am assuming that her entire male persona was a façade, even though Volar is both an anagram of Valor and a Spanish word meaning “to fly.”)

3) MATT SLADE III

After crash-landing an experimental plane in Poland circa WWII, ace pilot Matt Slade had nearly broken free of captivity when a group of heroic pilots calling themselves the Sky-Wolves arrived to save him. Joining up with the band, Slade used his skills as a munitions specialist to explode the secret Axis base where he had been held, becoming one of the Sky-Wolves, who remained a fighting squadron for the rest of the war.

Matt’s cowboy gear is to honor his grandfather, the first Matt Slade AKA Kid Slade, a troubleshooter and gunslinger of the Old West. As for the Sky-Wolves, they were Dave Cockrum’s attempt to recreate the magic of his fave-rave Golden Age heroes, The Blackhawks. Sadly, it didn’t take.

2) PRINCESS ARIEL

The step-daughter of an evil wizard, Ariel is not only skilled in the ways of sorcery, but in the history of Earth-That-Was. This makes her the brains of her freedom-fighting trio, alongside headstrong Thundarr and powerful-but-inarticulate Ookla The Mok. Though she possesses great power, her hands must be free in order to cast her spells, which occasionally leads to her playing the distressed damsel. Context clues strongly imply that Ariel is of Asian heritage.

1) MARIA VERDUGO

An expert computer scientist and mathematician, Dr. Maria Verdugo lived with a particularly severe form of epilepsy, Approached by the mysterious Mockingbird, Maria is offered a deal she cannot refuse: Technology that will suppress her seizures in return for working for the shadowy mystery man. She agrees, and becomes part of the second Secret Six, but chafes at the blackmail. Her tech wizardry plays a key role in unmasking the Mockingbird(s) once and for all…

…but that’s another story.

Once again, this week’s topic, Ten Supers With No Alias, is all me, as I’m running low on suggestions, so feel free to tweet me @MightyKingCobra to suggest a topic of your own! There’s always more Ten Things madness on my Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because there’s a whole generation of kids grown up with the MCU mocking superhuman noms de guerre. Regardless, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!

---

Dear Spoilerite,

At Major Spoilers, we strive to create original content that you find interesting and entertaining. Producing, writing, recording, editing, and researching requires significant resources. We pay writers, podcast hosts, and other staff members who work tirelessly to provide you with insights into the comic book, gaming, and pop culture industries. Help us keep MajorSpoilers.com strong. Become a Patron (and our superhero) today.