The game of corporate food mascots is always a dangerous place to expend your thought-energy. Why do so many foods know they’re delicious, but have no taboo against cannibalism? Why is Charlie the Tuna so obsessed with getting caught by Star-Kist, a situation which WILL LEAD TO HIS DEATH? How exactly does The General know when you’re at the lowest point a human can ever be? But perhaps the most existentially disturbing question of all is one of anatomy: Does the consciousness of the being we know as Kool-Aid Man reside in his CONTAINER, the glass pitcher that crashes through walls, or does it lie in the delicious liquid itself? Would he still be Kool-Aid Man if he were in a can, or a puddle, or the tank of your car? If not, what would happen if his pitcher were empty? It’s a truly fascinating train of thought which leads us to today’s epistomological query…
The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”usually might posit a guess here, but… I got nothin’, asking: Is Kool-Aid Man the pitcher or the liquid within the pitcher?
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The answer, of course, is “yes.” The Kool-Aid is the animating, essence, the essential being of Kool-Aid Man. It must, however, be placed in an appropriate totem. In a simple plastic container, the essence may be dormant. In the wrong vessel, such as a Woodsy Owl (TM) cookie jar, madness could ensue.
Is Frosty the Snowman the snow or the hat?
It’s the magical intersection of both Kool-Aid content and anthropomorphic pitcher container that make Kool-Aid Man.
Trick question; it’s obviously a distributed intelligence. Like bees.