COMICS PORTAL: Enough, Already!

Last week, I talked about what I was thankful for! Well, to satisfy those who like it when I fuss about what I don’t prefer, this week’s column is for you!

Okay, I’m a big Bat-fan! I admit it! But even I have my limits! The Bat-Family has grown in ways even I don’t care for!

First off, Batgirl will always be Barbara Gordon to me. I’ll buy the current Cassandra Cain book, but I don’t expect it to last very long.

A little history lesson: The first Batwoman appeared way back in the 1950s. Kathy Kane was, for all intents and purposes, just a woman in a bat-suit. She was considered a female rival to Batman. She even had her own partner, Bat-Girl (remember the hyphen!). However, she eventually dropped out of Gotham City so she could be replaced by the aforementioned hyphen-less Batgirl.

So, we have a new Batgirl, but no Batwoman for quite a long time. (There was an animated movie called Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman that I liked, but that didn’t catch on. It was a one trick pony.) Then DC apparently decided that we needed another member of the Bat-Family, but someone more diverse, so we got the updated Kate Kane, called a “lipstick lesbian” who debuted in 2006. There were some tales that apparently linked her to Bruce Wayne’s family somehow, but DC stuck to their rule of “heroes shouldn’t have happy personal lives.” Whoever Kate connects with is often doomed to a fate worse than death or banishment into comics limbo.

Most recently, she and Batwing (who I really like) teamed up for an Outsiders mini-series, but that’s long gone now. It was a weird, kind of supernatural, gig that I never truly warmed up to.

Yes, she’s from a military family. Yes, she’s been given several attempts at vitalization. However, she’s getting to be the “Hawkman” of the Bat-Family: a hero with a seriously confusing backstory and even less purpose! Let’s give her a rest for a long time, okay?

I have to admit that I was not a fan of the “black costume” from the first time I saw it. I remember standing in a local comics shop, looking at the cover with the new suit on it, and I grumbled out loud how much I didn’t like it. The guy standing next to me laughed, then agreed, and we became friends over how much we despised the new Spidey suit.

Then when I found out it was actually an alien leeching energy and such from Peter Parker, I liked it even less. It wasn’t long before he ditched the alien suit and went back to his regular blue-and-red tights, which made me happy. However, never one to let an idea (good or not) go to waste, Marvel developed Venom by having the alien merge with another character, Eddie Brock. The symbiote has had many other hosts, including Ben Reilly (when he was a good guy) and Lee Price, among others.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, we started getting “spin-offs” from Venom, including Carnage, Scream, Lasher, Phage, Knull, Agony, Rascal, Toxin, Anti-Venom, Misery, and Riot.

However, I did like it when Flash Thompson merged with it because Flash was a special agent named Agent Venom who could only wear it for 48 hours. Any longer than that and he would merge with it. That incarnation didn’t stick around long enough to “suit” me!

There have been “Venom wars” and such massive crossovers that I just can’t get into them as well.

Now, there’s a new Venom coming to town. We won’t know who this one is bonded with for a while yet, but when we do, the luster will wear off again, mark my words! Red Hulk has faded into the background in a similar fashion although he has a new book coming, too.

Yikes! Enough of this thing already! I realize Spidey is the “big gun” at Marvel like Batman is for DC, but I’ve already lost interest in anything Venom-ous!

I am still smarting from how DC handled Hal Jordan when they thought they could discard him for a younger character. He became Parallax, or at least, that’s how it appeared to be happening.

Later on, when they decided to reverse course, they indicated that Parallax was a being that possessed Hal Jordan. They still didn’t know what to do with the guy, but if you want to see Green Lantern done right, read the current GL books written by Jeremy Adams. They sparkle!

I don’t ever want to hear that word “Parallax” ever again… unless Mr. Adams comes up with a good story around it!

I understand the need to reach out to younger readers. We need to get the good stuff in front of them so they will like comics!

The bad news is that as I get older, my eyesight isn’t up to reading the smaller type. I know, I know… a co-worker used to always tell me, “That wasn’t meant for you!” And she’s right, especially this time.

I don’t expect to buy any of the DC Compact Comics because they are simply reduced in size. That makes it tough for me, as a more “experienced” reader, to enjoy the story.

But if this is something you enjoy, by all means, buy and read those books! We need more fans!

It should go without saying that books sell better when they hit the stands around the time of a related holiday or event.

I always tell the story about Grant Morrison and his BOOM! Studios’ Klaus series. When the first mini-series came out, it debuted on the Wednesday before Christmas. However, in May, I think I was the only one who bought the final issue of that mini-series.

Granted, horror books don’t always have to come out near Halloween. But if you are putting out a Christmas mini-series (like DC is now), you had better be sure you get all of them on the stands before that holiday hits. The day after Christmas is like the holiday never happened in the first place. So, if you are looking to sell a Christmas comic AFTER the holiday, you are in tough luck, my friend!

Whatever it takes, get those comics out BEFORE the related event takes place! Really!

I run into this occasionally, so I need to include it here (although my current local comics shop does a great job of keeping me happy).

If you order a mini-series for customers, please, please, PLEASE get ALL the issues in that story. I once ordered a book from a shop because they had specifically ordered the title I wanted. I got the first three issues with no problem. The fourth and final issue? “We didn’t order it because not enough customers wanted it. They wanted more Marvels.” AUGH! Of course, these days you can pretty much order any book directly from the publisher if your store lets you down, but it’s still a hassle!

I haven’t been back to that store in years! I have enough things going on in my life that require my attention! Buying comics shouldn’t be like another full-time job! Sheesh!

Okay, I feel better now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest! Please don’t think I prefer to go all “negative nancy” on things. I get a lot of feedback that people enjoy my more positive outlook on things. So, next week, back to reality for me!

What do you think? Are there characters or books that you have given up on finally? Have you had to change stores because the person placing the orders wouldn’t get you want you said you wanted? Are there other things the comics industry could do better to help you as a fan get the books you want? Feel free to share your opinions below! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving last week!

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