Superman and Batman vs. Vampires and Werewolves

Oh… Dear… God… NO!

I can understand the zombie craze.  I can appreciate the love affair with the undead vampire.  I can even go so far as to say werewolves have their place in story telling.  But dear jeebus, why’d you have to convince someone in DC editorial that Superman & Batman should take on Vampires and Werewolves?

Where to begin?  How about like this – don’t take this book seriously.  Seriously. Don’t do it.  You might just go mad at the mere thought of Batman being surprised that vampires exist – even though he has dealt with one in Batman and the Outsiders.  If you think about this issue too much, you’ll go insane when you realize this first issue should have been called Batman and Wonder Woman vs. Vampires and Werewolves, as Superman doesn’t make a single appearance in the issue he is headlining.  In fact, if you go too far inside the looking glass, you’ll realize Batman doesn’t even fight a werewolf or a vampire.  If you try to read any metatext into what is going on, you’ll eventually come to some conclusion about swapping bodily fluids as a metaphor for sex… oh wait, that’s that HBO series True Blood. But I’m sure before it is all over, there will be some parallel you’ll be able to draw here.

Any pluses?  There is a good bit of detective work going on that is reminiscent of who the character of Batman really is.  Of course it also means Batman had to drag a half eaten body back to his cave to run tests, which must be murder on the upholstery of the batmobile.  If you think that is bad, wait until you read the half hearted attempt at humor Kevin VanHook adds into the scene when Alfred makes some off remark about not wanting to set his Lasagna down anywhere near the body.  I appreciate that sick joke, because I just spent the day with a little kid who can’t keep anything down, and then made the wise decision to have Chicken Alfredo for dinner… ah the smell.

I think the only way you can really enjoy this issue is if you approach it like a Friday Night Fright Fest movie marathon on your local access television channel.  Sure Peter Cushing is over the top goofy and the plot goes no where, but it sure is fun to see the Brides of Dracula go through the motions.

I actually enjoyed the two Alien vs. Predator movies.  I can dig Freddy vs. Jason.  I can totally get behind Frankenstein meet Abbot and Costello, and you know why?  Because those movies are pure silly fun.  Superman & Batman vs. Vampires & Werewolves is the epitome of a popcorn movie come to comic form – mindless, with a story that is so far out there, you just have to sit back and enjoy it for what it is.  If you try anything else…well, see paragraph two.

I did enjoy the art by Tom Mandrake.  It doesn’t veer too far into Kelley Jones territory, but I get the same vibe from this art as I did with Red Rain and that whole run Jones did in Batman.

I’m not going to go so far as to say this is the worst piece of crap I’ve ever read; I’ll save that for another Batman title, but it is pretty silly.  And in the end isn’t that what a lot of comics generally tend to lean toward – the silly and absurd?  I know there are going to be two people who think this is the greatest thing DC has put out since the last book DC put out, and that’s fine for those guys, but for the rest of us, I’m not convinced.  If you want mindlessness, where eventually you may actually see Superman & Batman fighting Vampires & Werewolves, then keep reading. This six issue arc is obviously targeting the trade, so the aftermarket might actually cause this title to achieve cult-like status.  I might give the second issue a glance to see what happens next, but I doubt I’ll finish the series.  I’m giving Superman & Batman vs. Vampires & Werewolves 1 out of 5 Stars.

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