Or – “For Those Of Us Who Like A Comic To Creep Us Right The @#&$ Out.”
I remember quite vividly the day I read Marvel Zombies #1. I had briefly flipped through the Fantastic Four issues that debuted the infected alternate Marvel Universe (Greg Land’s art always puts me off. Too much pornface!) but MZ #1 grabbed me from the first page, and when I got to the scene where the undead Avengers cornered Magneto, I was ready to write it off as a quickie tie-in to the cultural zeitgeist of Zombie Madness. But the scene didn’t stop. The recognizable heroes of my youth fell upon possibly the most well-known Marvel supervillain save maybe Doctor Doom and… ATE HIM. On panel. I clearly remember how disturbing it was, and how I just COULD NOT BELIEVE that Marvel had published it. That feeling is back, and I sort of love it, while still being disturbed. (Viewer discretion is advised. If you’re bothered by zombies, feel free to peruse our other reviews by clicking the link above…)
With the original five issue miniseries having gone back to press four, even FIVE times, and even the hardcover collection going back to press, Marvel Zombies is a sales powerhouse for Marvel, guaranteeing that we’ll see this particular concept burn out rather than fade away (though I suspect the Fantastic Four crossover will be the death of coolsville for the zombies.) Faithful Spoilerites know that I’ve been covering the Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness mini, and it’s been filled with awesomely horrible moments, but as enjoyable as that book is, it’s a completely different beast than the original. Ash Williams is a traditional heroic protagonist (at least in the ways that matter) and while I KNOW he won’t save this Earth, I believe that he’ll at least escape it and return to HIS world. Also, his perspective gives us a “safe zone” to view the carnage with a sense of humor rather than that horrible Sam Kinison voice in the back of my head screaming, “THE DEAD LIVE! THE DEAD $^&*ING LIVE! OOOOH! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!” that Kirkman channeled so well the last time. The original MZ series had none of that, no central character, no plucky band of survivors, just the super-powered living dead rampaging across their entire planet. It was a bleak, horrifying and awesome spectacle, and it left me creeped out every issue. Seriously, the undead haven’t stuck in my consciousness like that since the ‘injury-to-the-eye’ sequence of Lucio Fulci’s “Zombi.” This book (done by the original creators) recaptures that horror of that first mini, and, amazingly, ups the ante. We start with Marvel’s flagship icon, Peter Parker, swinging home (after ditching Ash in MZ vs. AOD #2) to check on his family. Pete finds Mary Jane and Aunt May hiding in their apartment, but realizes that he may have made a mistake, as the throbbing Colonel America bite on his shoulder is getting worse, and he becomes horribly sick through his mask…. Ew.
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That… I… Gah. The thing that makes it worse is the fact that Sean Phillips intentionally drew a classic-looking John Romita Sr. version of Aunt May and MJ here, making what we know comes next even more awful. Thankfully, we cut to another scene, but the payoff on dialogue from issue 1 of the original series is just awful to behold. But I can’t look away. The Avengers rampage across New York, spreading out, having called in all their reserves to sate their endless hunger. Suddenly, Kirkman does something I NEVER expected, as he cuts to Asteroid M (Magneto’s orbiting citadel) and explains the origins of the zombie plague!
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Erik Magnus Lensherr, you SONOFA&!+(#! Sort of puts his ‘heroism’ in Ultimate FF and the mini in a whole new light, doesn’t it? But it does beg the question: What DID he make a deal with? We saw Sentry and Ash in the afterlife, does Magneto have that kind of (you should excuse the expression) pull? That question goes unanswered as, back on Earth, the few remaining heroes are in disarray. (Some of ’em go disarray, some of ’em go datarray. And the ones that go datarray are eatin’ folks like Buffalo Wings.) Rich Rider, the man called Nova, swoops low over the city to try and find allies, knocking at the window of Peter Parker. “I’m sorry to barge in like this, but there’s some crazy stuff going on– wanted to make sure you and the family were okay. Hello?” Rich steps in the shattered window, and from the shadows comes a voice that reminds me of nothing so much as Gollum. “You don’t understand… there’s not ENOUGH for you… there’s not enough. I can’t SHARE. I have to keep it all for myself. The hunger… I HAD to do this… DON’T LOOK AT ME!” Tricksy Novases, trying to take the precious. Sadly for Nova, while Pete’s mind is obviously gone, Spider-Man is still as huge a physical threat as ever, leaping at him and knocking them both through the window.
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Nova hesitates for only a split second, but it’s a second too long. The Amazing Spider-Zombie leaps at Daredevil, biting him viciously, leaving a wide-eyed Nova to make his escape. Down in Times Square, Colonel America, no longer hungry (for a second) regains his wits, ordering the others to stop! He tries to think it through, the mind of the man overcoming (barely) the hunger of the beast, and he leads his troops back to Avengers Mansion to regroup. Upstate at the Xavier Institute, Alpha Flight has attacked and consumed Professor X, and the X-Men valiantly fight against the odds, until Magneto arrives to save the day, slicing up the Flight (including the ever-awesome undead Puck) with magnetically-thrown metal missiles and proposing a truce with his old adversaries. In New York, having escaped their own ravenous teammates, Giant-Man and The Black Panther are skulking through the rubble of the city… but Hank Pym has a secret.
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He quickly goes Goliath, knocks Panther out with one swat, and drags him to his hidden underground lab. Hank knows the food supply won’t last with this many heroes, and plans to keep his old friend to offset that problem. What’s most awful about this is that their characters are, essentially, intact, as this sort of preparedness really IS a Hank Pym trait. These things act like the heroes we know, maintaining their skills and resourcefulness, but turning it all to the acquisition of more people to eat. That is sooo wrong. Wronger still is what happens when She-Hulk busts into the Baxter Building (she still knows the security codes) in search of a meal, and finds only Franklin and Valeria. I’m no censor, and I heartily apologize for this, but as the overprotective father of a three-year-old, I flipped past these pages as soon as I realized what was going on. I’m sorry I can’t recap them, but everyone has their limits, and that’s one of mine. Elsewhere, we see Thor fighting almost single-handedly against an army of his former comrades, and he’s very nearly overwhelmed, when Nova and the Fantastic Four arrive, and lead him to the hovering SHIELD helicarrier, where the non-infected heroes have met up to plan.
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I’m digging the retro Don Heck Iron Man mask, there… Fury’s plan has more holes in it than Bruce Banner’s spare trousers, but the shell-shocked heroes start to split up, breaking into teams (and I see what MAY be an art error in that The Scarlet Witch is pictured here while she, Dazzler and Ash are headed for Latveria… unless one of them ISN’T The Scarlet Witch? Dum dum DAAAH!) when suddenly, Nova loses his cool and says what they’re all thinking.
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The hopelessness of it all now firmly hammered home, the heroes start about their tasks. Giant-Man returns to Avengers Mansion to find the team gathered around the briefing table… but they’re not planning, they’re EATING. Horribly, Jarvis is laid out like a buffet, and they’ve all lost themselves to the hunger. I argued with myself whether to show this scene or not, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m telling you, this book is disturbing, and it’s creeping me right out of my shoes. “So, that’s it then?” scolds Giant-Man. We just accept what we’ve become, and that’s it? You don’t plan to FIGHT this?” “I’ve eaten over a dozen people today,” replies Hawkeye. “I don’t expect there to be much in the way of redemption available for ANY of us. You saying you don’t want any of this Jarvis meat?” Hank thinks for about a picosecond, and replies “No, I’m not. Move over… I just don’t like the idea of giving up.” And that’s pretty much the end of that thing they call ‘hope.’
We see shots from all over the world (including the one moment that made me laugh in the whole book, with a hungry Spider-Man at J. Jonah Jameson’s office window, ominously saying, “I’m going to enjoy this.” Heh.) but the situation just continues to worsen. The Frightful Four, the Atlanteans, the Sinister Six, all have fallen to the plague. Nick Fury even approaches Doctor Doom(!), who informs him that Latveria is immune to the plague, and sends him packing. Yeah, right… At the Baxter Building, Reed Richards examines the bodies of Alpha Flight, and what he finds fascinates him. “These creatures are remarkable… The infection turns them into such an efficient life-form, it’s just… amazing!” Sue chastises him angrily, reminding him about their children, but he near-sightedly points out what he sees as ‘improvements’ on the human design. “The use far less energy. Most bodily functions are shut down, not necessary any longer, yet they still retain mobility and all of their intellect.” Sue stalks away, leaving her crazy husband to his work. Tony Stark, true to his nature, hasn’t been working on a cure, but rather an escape hatch: the dimensional transporter that we’ve seen before. He hopes that they can just teleport the survivors away if all else fails. Reed, however, has a much more chilling solution to their problem.
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He has intentionally infected the rest of the Fantastic Four. Repeat that: HE HAS INTENTIONALLY INFECTED HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY because he thinks this is the next step in human evolution. People have been speculating lately that our world’s Reed Richards had popped his cork with his whole “human interaction algorithm”B.S. but this should be proof that any Reed Richards is apparently capable of going gleefully insane, and his rapturous expression in that last panel is… My god, I’m running out of words for “horrible.” Although this does answer the question of how they managed to bite through the Thing’s hide, doesn’t it? I had been wondering. The Four storm the helicarrier, and quickly bite Iron Man. Fury and the last survivors (Storm, Colossus, Thor, Nightcrawler and Doctor Strange, possibly the last living humans in New York) hide behind a steel barrier, but Ben Grimm’s battering fists will not be denied.
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And thus we see how this Reed began his plan to contact Ultimate Reed, leading to the crossover, and the mini-series and the Frightful Four, and then we’re cha-cha-ing. For my part, I shouldn’t have chosen today, a dark, sullen and cold Tuesday, to recap such a disturbing comic. I’m going to have to spend two or three hours at the Onion just to get my smile back, folks. That’s how hard this one hits, and it doesn’t care whether the impact is below the belt or not.
Robert Kirkman knows how to do suspense, moreover, he knows how to craft dialogue that sounds real, but fills you with that cold sense of abject horror. Reed’s succumbing to the inevitable makes my skin crawl, and the moment where Spider-Man madly mutters about how he can’t share is one of the most shocking, overwhelming, dreadful things I could ever imagine. This issue grabs you by the neck and shakes you, compelling you to turn the page no matter how horrific you know the next image will be, and the incredibly detailed art by Sean Chen is sickly beautiful. The only real failing of the issue is that most of the scenes depicted were referenced in the previous issues with these characters, and thus, it felt a little telegraphed. If this sort of thing is your cup of tea, I highly recommend it, and give this issue 4 out of 5 stars for sheer dark brilliance. Just make sure you read it with the lights on, and take some time to decompress afterwards. It’s NOT for the faint of heart.
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For some reason the thing that bothers me most about Marvel Zombies is that every zombie looks like they’ve just finished munching on fresh placenta, not an arm, a brain, or some guts, just placenta.
And now, we’ll see it too.
BASTARD! :)
As additional Therapy, I’d suggest listening to a lot of Alabama 3.
My Pass-Notes are as follows.
1) I just realised that Marvel may be doing their ‘in-flux with the Movies’ thing on an unconscious leevl. Remember Col. America’s French salute at Spidey? Remember that this was just before Spidey carted away Ash? Now put that in conjunction with Bruce Campbell’s role in Spider-Man 3: a French Restaurant owner.
It BOGGLES the mind.
2) It’s quite possible that Magneto made his deal with Sentry BEFORE the guy ran out of bodies on his world, and Sentry decide he’d take the ‘Afterlife Bpass’ on his way there.
3) The Irony of Nova’s tirade is paid out in full when we realise that his last appearance as of MZ was vengefully trying tp kill silver Surfer for a huge hole in the middle of his torso.
4) Chillingly, this series has given me a good idea for a ‘Blade’-type character mini based on a minor Viking mythical antagonist. Won’t tell you, because I’m sure Joey Q would give me an advance on the idea if I told him it.
5) ‘everyone has their limits’? Bah! Humbug! I’d have willingly seen Shulkie slap the kids around first, then let Franklin teleport himself to the Heroes Reborn Universe, only to discover that Val is infected – if only so as to understand the true intents of the writing.
6) Zombie Nighthawk should get his own series. It’s he ONLY way that he would ever be interesting.
7) See a slight Dormammu resemblance in Johnny boy when he gets infected? Yes? No?
8) The FF are drawn to be so Jack Kirby style that I let out a little scream.
9) Some of the references ot the main series make me think that ‘Dead Days’ is like “The Godfather, Part 2”, except with Bites rather than oranges.
10) I’m going to Hell for that last one, aren’t I?
1) I just realised that Marvel may be doing their ‘in-flux with the Movies’ thing on an unconscious leevl. Remember Col. America’s French salute at Spidey? Remember that this was just before Spidey carted away Ash? Now put that in conjunction with Bruce Campbell’s role in Spider-Man 3: a French Restaurant owner.
It BOGGLES the mind.
And Lincoln was shot in the Kennedy theatre while Kennedy was shot in a LINCOLN!
2) It’s quite possible that Magneto made his deal with Sentry BEFORE the guy ran out of bodies on his world, and Sentry decide he’d take the ‘Afterlife Bpass’ on his way there.
But what infected Sentry in the first place?
3) The Irony of Nova’s tirade is paid out in full when we realise that his last appearance as of MZ was vengefully trying tp kill silver Surfer for a huge hole in the middle of his torso.
Heh. I had forgotten that…
4) Chillingly, this series has given me a good idea for a ‘Blade’-type character mini based on a minor Viking mythical antagonist. Won’t tell you, because I’m sure Joey Q would give me an advance on the idea if I told him it.
Is an advance the same thing as a restraining order?
5) ‘everyone has their limits’? Bah! Humbug! I’d have willingly seen Shulkie slap the kids around first, then let Franklin teleport himself to the Heroes Reborn Universe, only to discover that Val is infected – if only so as to understand the true intents of the writing.
Okay, fine. Cliffs notes version: She-Hulk eats the children, and Sue creates a forcefield in her brain, popping her head like a cheap balloon. There. Now, you need to buy me enough liquor to erase those images from my head…
6) Zombie Nighthawk should get his own series. It’s he ONLY way that he would ever be interesting.
You’ve obviously never read Steve Gerber’s run on Defenders circa 1974 or so. Nighthawk keeps showing up because he was the heart of that chunk of issues, and was waaay ahead of his time. Now that his time has come and gone, he seems like an anachronism, but back in the day? Kyle was the shiz-nite, as the kids supposedly say.
7) See a slight Dormammu resemblance in Johnny boy when he gets infected? Yes? No?
You’re high right now, aren’t you?
8) The FF are drawn to be so Jack Kirby style that I let out a little scream.
Intentionally so, I think, much like the Romita Parkers.
9) Some of the references ot the main series make me think that ‘Dead Days’ is like “The Godfather, Part 2″, except with Bites rather than oranges.
I’d liken it more to Vladimir and Estragon meet Rosencrantz and Guildenstern…
10) I’m going to Hell for that last one, aren’t I?
Not just for that, my young friend…
…but yes.
11) You know, in the introduction to the Trade, Kirkman says that he couldn’t believe Marvel would publish his script either. In fact, when he’d talked about it to Steven Spielberg (thus apparently removing himself from the list of writers for ‘Indy Jones 4 – Quest for the Lost Ibuprofen’), Spielberg rather naively told him that he had made a mistake in writing it – “This is a MARVEL book, right? You did WHAT?”. Then, after a nailbiting few weeks…Ralph Macchio called back and said he’d handed it over to a penciller, Sean Phillips. Just. Like. That.
Kirkman continues: “…for the next four issues, with every script, I tried my hardest to come up with SOMETHING, ANYTHING that would be so horrible, so disgusting they would make me change it…and it NEVER happened. Every disgusting thing the Zombies did was kept in. Nothing was changed, nothing was altered…it was just Bizarre, and Frustrating…I thought I was one sick puppy, but I couldn’t come up with anything they balked at.”
In my mind, Frank Miller has a whole lot to answer for…
I really never enjoyed zombie stuff. Why? Because the zombies ALWAYS win. People might escape and blow a lot of the up, but they ALWAYS win. Makes it less fun for me.
However I do enjoy this franchise. The stories creap me out and did something original: inteligent zombies. All our faculties, zero morality. I kinda wish the would do something similar with vampires.
A complete vampire takeover with humanity enslaved by the heroes that were protecting them.
Also, how does Wolverine become a zombie with his healing factor? If he can walk into the sun and survive plummeting into a planet and survive, shouldn’t he be able to stay the same? He should have been the regenerative food supply. Zombies munch, it grows back, zombies munch, it grows back…
In my mind, Frank Miller has a whole lot to answer for…
Well, it has nothing to do with Marvel Zombies, but I agree whole-heartedly. :)
I suppose the thing to keep in mind is, it’s essentially a five issue arc of “What If?” and bears no real effect on the characters. Not only that, it’s obvious that he loves these characters as much as we do, making their anguish at their transformation that much more powerful.
What I always loved was the Psychological aspect of it. In the original series, they’re talking about their analysis of their situation, blah blah, blah, and they’re acting as if they’re talking about completely different people – while they know that the monsters they’re stalling are, in all aspects, themselves.
Also, I think that the Zombie Virus could indeed be a Physical Manifestation of The Void.
And, my ‘Blade’ idea wouldn’t have been a Zombie himself, but a character from iking Myths related to them. Clue: In “Sandman: Season of Mists”, Thor uses the character’s name & nickname as a curse when he gets a hangover.
Marvel comics is where 90% of the comics cliches of the 2000’s are being defined. 70’s pop culture-y throwbacks, handcuffing character developments to movie storylines and ZOMBIES!!!! You’ll see Zombie Spidey right next to giant armored, huge rifle-totin’ Cable and 30-foot-long-cape-wearin’ Batman on the cliche list.
Don’t get me wrong. I like the series! Although I don’t remember Reed Richards having the personality of Dr. Moreau mixed with Peter Griffin that motivation doesn’t sit well with me unless the death of the kids was his breaking point.
…that motivation doesn’t sit well with me unless the death of the kids was his breaking point.
I think that’s a good point… He’s obviously unhinged, and I’m sure that seeing that happen to his believed offspring pushed him that direction. The whole world going to hell couldn’t have helped, either.
I think it has been a pretty cool series, but I had he same question….how does Wolverine become infected because of his healing factor?, How do you get through Colossus’s skin?, The Hulk’s skin?, The Juggernaut? Luke Cage(how the heck does his impervious skin get ripped open)? How the heck do you infect a freaking god in Thor?
Oh well….if you remember a What if issue where Wolverine became Lord of the Vampires, I would love to see a crossover with that universe or the What if issue where Wolverine was Lord of the Vampires during Inferno….that would be cool too.
I’m pretty sure that Doc Strange and Thor could easily take out the Frightful Four, seeing as Strange is the Sorcerer Supreme and this sort of thing should be right up his alley, and Thor has Mjolnir, which is supposed to be lethal to the undead. Plus, they had Nightcrawler, Storm, and Colossus backing them.
Then again, Marvel heroes haven’t been smart lately……
I figure that Thing could probably pierce Colossus skin and Banner could have been bitten before becoming the Hulk allowing you to infect the rest of the heavy hitters in Marvel. Oh, and Luke was bitten by Zombie-Sentry so that explains that infection. Was there a Zombie Thor? I forget. If there was, and me to the ones that need an explination.
Wolverine – the Virus overwhelms his system.
Colossus – it attacks him when he’s in a human state.
Hulk – Ditto.
Juggernaut – an awful lot of his skin is uncovered.
Luke Cage – as in MZ vs AoD, the Sentry was strong enough to carve a hole in his chest.
Thor – infection of his human host rather than his actual Godliness.
Vision – not actually infected, just on that Earth as some sort of recorder for the Kree.
I’d also say that the Four could easily use surprise to get all those people, and remember, they can beat them simply by biting them.
Couldn’t Nightcrawler just do his BAMF thing and drop the FF out of the Helicarrier? How about Doc Strange use some kind of magic to hide everyone until the zombies leave? Thor using Mjolnir? Hell, I’m pretty sure Storm could take Torch and Mr. Fantastic with water and some cold wind.
And why would Thor and Colossus not be ready for battle with ZOMBIES about to bust down the door?
The only possible answer that I have is: because these zombies used to be their friends.
And that only works because it’s intolerable to say “because Kirkman wrote it that way.” :)
You could also say “Zombies always win”, but it’s just as intolerable to say.
Yes, Friendship is a major biggie in this Universe – it should be an iconic moment in The Hallowed Halls Of ‘Crap On Hank Pym’, where Zombie Pym calls Black Panther ‘Old Friend’ while biting chunks out of his severed leg.
Then the only possible answer I have to that is: Super-Beings are stupid. Really, Really stupid. ;)
You could also say “Zombies always win”, but it’s just as intolerable to say.
Zombies usually don’t win. Usually humanity manages to #&$@ it up all by themselves, the zombies just bring it to light. Ask Ben… or Ana Clark… or even Bub, if you can find him.
…it should be an iconic moment in The Hallowed Halls Of ‘Crap On Hank Pym’, where Zombie Pym calls Black Panther ‘Old Friend’ while biting chunks out of his severed leg.
The main reason that this didn’t warrant the theme song to “Crap on Yellowjacket” was the simple fact that it’s a “What If” story, and a well-known “What If” tradition is to @#&$ everybody up as much as humanly possible before you go. That’s why the concept endures, it gets all the hatred and vitriol out of the writer’s system so he can go write regular stories again. Or as Bendis calls it, Monday.
Then the only possible answer I have to that is: Super-Beings are stupid. Really, Really stupid. ;)
Hey, this is Marvel! These characters are living, breathing beings who almost write themselves… until Quesada has another wild hair and forces them all into little boxes to fit the next big crossover. So, yeah, you’re right. :)
1) I wasn’t hyper, Johnny seriously does look like Dormammu for a panel.
2) This has got to be the longest-responded-to review I’ve seen so far. Guess ‘Marvel Zombies’ aren;t that far away from us after all…(hee hee, kidding).
You know another thing that bothered ne, was in MZ vs AD when Col America surprises Spider-man and bites him…I mean Ash saw him coming but Spidey’s spider sense didn’t warn him at all and he was bitten. Another question, did we ever see a zombie Apocalypse in the original MZ? there would be another tough guy to turn, IMO.
Just imagine if a few select heroes and villains were immune to the zombie plague…. but no matter how hard they fought they could only slow down the zombies but never stop them?
Who would be your selections for an immune team to fight the zombies? Do to impervious skin, healing factor, supernatural abilities or just plain luck?…….
If you could pick 15 heroes/villians who would it be?
I would have gone with: Colossus, Wolverine, Thor, Sandman, Hydro-Man, Vision, Ghost-Rider, Deadpool, Sabertooth, Doc Strange, War Machine, Spider-Man, Deathlok, Luke Cage, and Blade.
Oh well, just killing time at work…..
That was one of Kirkman’s original ideas: “Luke Cage: Last Man On Earth!”. because fo Cage’s tough skin, he would be forced by the Zombies to travel around Earth finding them new, hidden Prey, and in Return they would refuse to eat his Wife & Child…while he created a mini-superhero army in the Antarctic, where Zombies fear to Tread. Unfortuantely, Zombie Cage had already been seen, so Macchio was forced to ‘Kick that one to the Kerb’.
Wow, Lemony Snicket was right. You CAN learn a lot by reading Introductions…
If you could pick 15 heroes/villains who would it be?
Hmm… Guys who would be immune to zombie bites?
How about Morbius, Ghost Rider, Man-Thing, Simon Garth (post mortem), Makkari, Machine Man, The Vision, Blue Diamond, The White Queen, The Monster of Frankenstein, The Grey Gargoyle, Karkas… uh… Bruce Lee, Noob Saibot, and Eric Draven?
Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris is neither already dead nor lacking in flesh, as is the rest of my team… Thus, he does not fit the profile.
15 heroes…hmmm
Ghost Rider, Vengeance, War Machine, X-Man, Vision, Simon Garth, Mammomax, Deadpool, Morbius, Grey Gargoyle, Blade, The Lizard, Onslaught, Silver Surfer, Apocalypse
[I] Ghost Rider, Silver Surfer[/I]
Good picks, if it were not for Hulk, Norrin would have kicked ass, and how dose Jhonny Blaze turn into a zombie, there is plenty of evil around, hed have his hands full, but I’m confident he would hold his own. (I am of cource refering to the scene in UFF where the army of undead “heroes” which Blaze is claerly shown).
If Spidey’s minimal healing factor was enough to stave off the infection for a while, then in my opinion Wolverine should have been immune to it. Unless he was bitten several times, I think I did see a panel in Marvel Zombies where he was literally surrounded but you cant really see if he gets bitten or not.
To be fair, we don’t know if Spider-Man actually knew that his ‘healing factor’ was holding it off any better than Colonel America’s ‘super-human-infused blood’ was..and Dr. Doom put his supression of the virus due down to his almighty intellect..
So for all we know, they could’ve been talking bull, and not really had any idea.