Comics Portal: Tired of the Teases!

I don’t think I can take much more of the teases happening in comics these days! Really!

NOW PETER PARKER IS THE SPIDER-GOBLIN!

The “big news” of the hour (if that long) is that Peter Parker has been injected with the sins of Norman Osborn, and he’s going to turn into… THE SPIDER-GOBLIN (GASP!) beginning in issue #50 of The Amazing Spider-Man.

Meanwhile, over in DC, an android built as a back-up plan has replaced Bruce Wayne as Batman and has imprisoned him next to the Joker who now knows all of his secrets! (GASP again!)

Recently, DC did their very best to make Jonathan Kent (the Super-Son) into Superman. Not only that, but Clark revealed his secret identity to the world! (Another GASP!)

It wasn’t all that long ago that Doc Octopus took over Peter Parker’s body to become… the Superior Spider-Man! (Yet another GASP!)

What’s next? Spider-Man, who at one time had multiple arms to resemble a real spider, will actually BECOME A SPIDER! He’ll see the universe from the perspective of an arachnid, and he’ll better understand what they feel when they see him taking on their name!

Oh, and Batman will actually become a real bat, one that can fly around Gotham and bite the baddies. No, not Man-Bat… a really-and-for-true bat!

And if you think I’m joking, don’t let anyone at Marvel or DC read this column… it could very well happen and soon!

THIS IS ALL JUST TEASING, NOT PERMANENT

What I think today’s comics creators are hoping is that we’ll see these shake-ups of the status quo, gasp out loud, and decide we HAVE to buy the books so we can see what is actually happening to our favorite characters!

The bad news is that, in a year or even less, the “galactic reset button” will get pushed because what truly determines how long these teases remain in place will happen—sales will decrease!

Once the sales go down (and it will happen), the status quo will be reinstated, and Bruce Wayne will once again (and again and again) be Batman. Peter Parker will return to being the “real” Spider-Man, and Superman’s secret identity will again be secret. (Oh, never mind—that last one has already happened!)

As a long-term comics fan, buyer, and reader, I can’t help but notice these cycles in the industry I love so much. Creators have run out of stories to tell, so they make a substantial change in the character so the fans will go in a frenzy and buy more copies!

Of course, if you go TOO FAR, well, things will go back to normal so fast your head will spin! I remind you of the debacle that took place when Steve Rogers was revealed to actually be an agent of Hydra. (GASP!) Wow, that was set right again so quickly that many people who are not in the main social media flow about comics didn’t actually see this take place before the House of Ideas fixed it!

I have to say that I’m really, really tired of this mode of storytelling. Whatever happened to telling good stories? Putting the hero into a situation that actually challenged his or her abilities? Also, so many stories have gone on literally for decades! (Yes, X-Men, I’m looking at you!) It’s no wonder so many fans have turned to other forms of entertainment! Sheesh!

KEEP THE CORE OF THE CHARACTER

See, when someone picks up a Superman comic, there are certain things they expect to find there. Clark Kent is Superman, Lois Lane is seriously a part of what’s going on, etc., etc. When you try to read and book and have literally NO idea what’s happening, well, you are much more likely to put the book back in the stands and look for something else.

The reason why the biggest and most successful comics characters are so popular is that we understand who they are, what they’re about, and what kind of stories we’ll find in their books!

You turn Peter Parker into the Green Goblin, and I have to admit—I don’t care what’s going to happen especially since I KNOW that’s only going to last a minimum of a few months, a maximum of a year at best.

These days, I just pass on these teases.

MAKE THESE CHANGES PERMANENT

If the basic core of the character is so flawed that you must make significant changes to him or her, then you should HAVE to live with those changes for an extended period of time to prove that this change is actually necessary!

I would say that Peter Parker should have to be the Spider-Goblin for at least five or ten years at a minimum. Maybe even longer.

See, I know that will not take place because, when the sales start to dip as they inevitably must, the stores will put out the clarion call to Marvel to “Bring Back Spider-Man!” This will allow the House of Ideas to announce: “Because You Demanded It! He’s Back!” And the status quo will be restored… until the next time they need an event that will make a temporary spike in the sales!

Sigh. I mean, I’ve groused about this for years in this column and to my friends. I remember when Dick Grayson became Batman while Bruce was lost in time. I wanted to start a pool to see who could accurately predict when things would get back to normal. Maybe I wouldn’t have won, but sure enough, he returned to take back the mantle of the Dark Knight!

I can’t be the only one who sees this endless cycle happening in comics! Aren’t there creators out there who can come up with good (or even decent) stories without shredding the hero? I’m sure there are… we just need you to step forward and take the reins of storytelling. And soon! Please?

What do you think? Should the Superior Spider-Man take on the Spider-Goblin? Will Peter become the Spider-Octopus before long? What about putting a stop to buying all these “event” comics? Whatever your opinions, be sure to share them in the space below!

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