While statues crumbled for ’em all around the world, Sugar Ray once expressed their singular wish, but today’s supers beat them to the proverbial punch. Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Supers Who Are Pretty Fly (For A Masked Guy)! Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and the Wallenda family, Presents:

TEN THINGS: TEN SUPERS WHO ARE PRETTY FLY (FOR A MASKED GUY)!

10) THE HUMAN FLY

Loosely based on the public persona of daredevil Rick Rojatt, the man who would be The Human Fly was badly wounded in a car accident that killed his wife and children. After extensive surgical reconstruction, nearly 60% of his skeletal structure was replaced with steel, and he began the process of learning to move again. Putting on a mask for reasons that are never entirely clear, The Human Fly becomes a stuntman in the Evel Knievel mold, donating all his proceeds to charity. He also teams up with several Marvel heroes, including a run-in with Spider-Man, who mistook him for a villain of the same name.

His adventures will likely never be reprinted.

9) THE PHANTOM FLYER/THE FLYING PHANTOM

Making a single appearance circa 1945, Colonel Carver and his ward Kenny fought the Axis in the European theatre of WWII. Inexplicably possessing super-human strength and leaping abilities, the feature was titled The Phantom Flyer, but he was called The Flying Phantom in the story itself. That sort of inconsistency isn’t uncommon for his publisher, Aviation Press (best known for the character Black Venus, whose costume is so tight you can read her tattoos), but it’s the kind of thing that makes modern readers’ teeth itch.

8) FLYGIRL

Based on the Silver Age character created by Bob Bernstein and John Rosenberger, Flygirl appeared as a member of The Mighty Crusaders during Rob Liefeld’s abortive 2021 revamp of the MLJ/Archie Comics properties. Though the original Kim was a sidekick to The Fly (AKA Fly-Man), the rights to that character were reverted to his creator, Joe Simon, leaving Ms. Brand as the last Diptera standing. This particular costume is a mélange of three different Fly/Fly-Man costumes, with odd, armored bits here and there.

7) THE FLYER

One of the NHL Guardians, a team of superheroes created by Stan Lee circa 2012, The Flyer is the living embodiment of Philadelphia’s hockey team.  With the wings of a bird of prey and enhanced vision (including x-ray vision), he also has telekinetic and telepathic powers, which allow him to communicate with and control his sidekick, a titanium eagle called Wannamaker. Of course, he’s from Philly, so he is a rough-and-tumble brawler whose “granite jaw” is legendary, making for a very convoluted concept.

The Guardians were a legendary flop, as the crossover potential between hockey fans and comic book fans wasn’t quite what the NHL had hoped.

6) GADFLY

One of the most successful actors in Hollywood, Asher Hutchton is sadly considered C-list, at best, in his costumed identity. Balancing the life of a celebrity with the life of a costumed vigilante is tough on Asher (whose 2003 appearance was smack-dab in the heyday of Ashton Kutcher, whom he somewhat resembles), and the drama comes from an inverse of the classic Superman trope, where he’s a nobody nothing schmuck in costume, and a beloved public figure while unmasked.

5) FLYTE

A member of the Fazers, a team of super-folks who are totally NOT mutants assembled by Dr. Franklin Faze, Angela Smith’s odd butterfly/bumblebee motif hides a power suit run on pure Floidium. (I’d explain, but you pretty much know all you’re gonna get from the stories in that sentence.) In addition to her flight powers, she can generate force fields, though there aren’t a lot of examples of how. Since Faze 1 Fazers was legendarily created by an enthusiastic young artist whose creative urges kept changing the premise and details to the point where the four issues aren’t really so much a story as a series of events, Flyte gets barely any panel time to show off her gigs.

4) BUTTERFLY

One of the Big Bang stable of characters, Lady Jane Pyxington is a member of the National Guardians, whose adventures echo those of the Bronze Age Avengers. Much like The Wasp, who seems to be her inspiration, Butterfly is a happy-go-lucky young woman into fashion and life, and inspired a 30th-century follower, Butterfly Queen, a member of the Pantheon of Super-Heroes.

3) FLYING BUTTRESS

Though she never actually adopted it as her official alias, Laurel Gand suggested this codename when pressed by the leader of the Legion of Super-Heroes, referencing both her Kryptonian-style Daxamite powers and her dislike of pants. (Laurel generally wore thong bottoms with a battle skirt or capelet to cover her legen-derriere.) When the Legion was forced to flee the United Planets and go underground, the six-foot blonde flying brick took the same amount of care in her disguise, transforming into a six-foot flying brick with a blonde braid.

Being invulnerable means never having to say you’re sorry, I guess. Tragically, Laurel died in battle soon after she donned this disguise.

2) FEARLESS FLY

When danger rears its shrouded head in agony (or whatever), Hiram Housefly takes a page from Clark Kent and puts on his glasses, transforming into the insectoid idol of millions. No flyswatter can harm him! No flypaper can hold him! No insecticide can stop him!

As with most of the late ’60s wave of superhero cartoons, no origin of his mighty abilities is ever given, but his one weakness is losing his glasses (which, natch, happens in every one of the Fearless Fly shorts.)

1) FATMAN, THE HUMAN FLYING SAUCER

A rare example of a fat superhero who is powerful and reasonably capable without being a gross stereotype, millionaire playboy Van Crawford followed a crashing spacecraft, only to discover that it was, in fact, a shapeshifting alien. After accepting Crawford’s aid, the alien gave him a special chocolate drink that could turn Fatman into his own Human Flying Saucer, Created by Otto Binder and CC Beck, the minds behind the Golden Age Captain Marvel, Fatman wears a costume inspired by that selfsame Big Red Cheese in his three published adventures. Lightning Comics also published ads promising to debut a “swingin’ new super-hero” called Captain Shazam, but the publishing firm went under before that hero ever saw the light of day.

Once again, this week’s topic, Ten Supers Who Are Pretty Fly (For A Masked Guy), is all me, but feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra to suggest a topic of your own! There’s always more Ten Things madness on my Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because the ability to defy gravity is one of the most common super-powers. Either way, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!

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