If you remember the good ol’ days of Dueling Review, it’s time for a blast from the past, by demand! Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Super Names Stephen Thinks Are Transformers!
Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and the power of the command performance, Presents:
TEN THINGS: TEN SUPER NAMES STEPHEN THINKS ARE TRANSFORMERS!
A member of the Holo-Squad, real name unknown, Wavelength and his team only appeared in a coming attractions ad in issue #1 of The Amazing Adventures of Holo-Man. To date, issue two has yet to appear, but it’s only been 49 years, so in comic terms, there’s still hope. Presumably, his powers have/had something to do with light refraction, given Holo-Man’s associations with laser technology, If I’m not mistaken, Stephen said he was a robot that turned into a radar dish.
One of the Female Furies of Apokalips, Stompa (surname possibly “Mudhole”) was trained/tortured by the nefarious Granny Goodness. The origins of her Anti-Matter Boots are unknown, but their power is obvious to everyone within a two-mile radius of their use. Stompa has been seen to die multiple times, only to return with nary a scratch on her proverbial fender, proving the resiliency of Apokaliptian folk. I want to say Stephen said she was one of Soundwave’s little cassette robots, but he didn’t know which was red and which was blue.
One of the young heroes of Titans Academy, Lucas LaPorte was part of a trio of students from Gotham City who worked together as The Bat-Pack. Megabat is strong, though it’s not clear if superhumanly so, and is skilled at investigation, especially in concert with his partners Bratgirl and Chupacabra. A man of so few words that some of his fellow students thought he was mute, Lucas is perfectly capable of speaking when he has something to say. Megabat is a triple-changer who can be either a mechanical bat or an aircraft carrier, according to Stephen’s notes.
Not a bulldog, a mutant, a vampire, or Snoopy’s brother, Hatch Cardy was a founding member of The Sentinels, his world’s greatest super-team. Though a stalwart hero, he was a pretty terrible father, and his daughter Harlette struggled with abandonment issues thanks to his prioritizing superheroing over family. His team disbanded after the death of one of their members, but Spike’s daughter joined a later iteration of The Sentinels in the hopes of tracking him down. Bonus points to Stephen for remembering Sparkplug Witwicky’s cartoon son, though I think the part about him being able to transform into a dishwasher is a fever dream.
A member of The Ultimates (but not THOSE The Ultimates), Intruder’s real name is unknown. He received powers from the experiments of one Doctor Carnell, who was so disheartened with his creations that he gave up his own life. Featuring a classic weird Gil Kane design, Intruder’s power set and pre-Ultimate identity are never revealed, as far as I can find, but I’m pretty sure that’s what Stephen calls Devastator.
A member of The Sentinels, but not the same Sentinels as Spike, Tracer’s real name is unknown. His nom de guerre is clearly from the trails of light that he leaves behind him as he flies. He can also turn invisible, which implies control of more of the visual spectrum, but his appearances are few, making such questions mostly speculation on my part. Tracer is a minor part of the cast of PS 238, and Stephen is 100% sure that he’s the one Transformer that Gail Simone keeps reminding us turns into a pencil.
A member of the Justice Teens, the sidekicks of the Victory Brigade (Argo Comics’ pastiche of the Justice League), Slingshot’s real name is unknown. He is, however, an entitled, arrogant jerk who is on the outs with his mentor for reasons unexplained. Given that the Justice Teens resemble the original Teen Titans, he’s clearly meant to be a Speedy analog, though the name of his Green Arrow is also unrevealed, as far as I can tell. It’s Stephen’s belief that Slingshot is the loud-mouthed, arrogant member of the Aerialbots, who turns into a Harrier jump-jet.
The requisite metalhead rock-n-roller of the Street Sharks, Melvin Kresnik wasn’t transformed with the titular quartet. Instead, he was mutated by bad popcorn, which makes total sense if you’ve ever seen an ’80s cartoon. Also worth noting, he continued his music career after transforming, which seems to have jumpstarted his career. Maybe it’s the fact that his epic Kentucky waterfall haircut survived his transformation into a bull shark, or maybe it’s just that his tunes are that bodacious. In this case, I believe Stephen has confused the Rock Lords for a sub-line of Autobots, rather than Go-Bots.
A member of the Night Shift and one of the rare super-villains to operate on the West Coast in Marvel Comics, Tick-Tock’s real name is unknown. Initially possessing only a limited form of precognition, Tick-Tock later sold his soul for more expansive time manipulation powers. Working as both a minor bad guy and an extremely minor good guy, I think Stephen said he turned into a mantle clock that sounded just like Major Winchester?
To be honest, I think that’s Cogsworth from Beauty and the Beast, but who am I to question?
1) TUGBOAT RESIN
A strange composite of two previously dialed H-Dial forms (one called Tugboat, the other Baroness Resin), Tugboat Resin was a part of a desperate gambit by Nelson Jent to fight the godlike being called 0. It was successful, up to a point, though it left him, and his allies Manteau and Open-Window Man trapped in a strange limbo dimension. I may have misheard Stephen on this one, though.
Thanks to Major Spoilers Editor-In-Chief Stephen (@MajorSpoilers) for this week’s Ten Things category, but as always, feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra to suggest a topic of your own! There’s always more Ten Things madness on my Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because there are always more Transformers, and there’s no way he’s gonna start paying attention to them 40 years in. Either way, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!