‘Tis the season to be scary, and to consider our favorite scary flicks and stories.  The original ‘Amityville Horror’, ‘Paranormal Activity’ and the B-52 sequence of ‘Heavy Metal’ share little in tone or construction, but they do have one major item in common:  Each horror movie universe they create scares the bajeezus out of me.  Once something enters my head, i expect it to stick around for a while, and today’s boring work-day led to me considering my chances of surviving in those fictional horror universes.  (In order, the answers are “Possibly,” “Certainly, so long as I’m not a tool like Micah”, and “Nooope.”)  Speed didn’t help the victims of Jason Voorhees, so I wouldn’t have too much of a handicap there, but I wouldn’t last long around Rick Grimes, having long since wandered off into the woods to get away from those people.  Either way, the give-and-take of my cinematic ruminations filled a dull afternoon (Best Chance For Matthew Survival = “Nightbreed”, in case ya wondered) but also begs a query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) kicked that #@&*ing map in the #@&*ing river yesterday, asking: How would you survive in a horror movie universe and which one would you choose?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. give my propensity to make mixtapes/mix cd’s for people, i feel like i’d be okay in the Ring universe as long as i was fastidious in sending stuff out.

    • i may have used “fastidious” wrong. woof. i forfeit all points going forward. maybe i meant “expedient?” “expeditious?”

Leave A Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.