Destiny can be a harsh mistress.  For instance, what were the odds that Otto Octavius would end up with eight limbs?  Or John Henry Irons eventually getting covered in Steel?  At least little Eddie Nygma has the excuse that his name created an obsession with riddles, but none of that explains Roy G. Bivolo…  Welcome to Ten Things!

Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with ‘An Amateur Comics Historian’ and Tomorrow Person Adam Newman, Presents:


10) BULLET-PROOF – Real Name: B.P. Vess

Special Agent Baldwin P. Vess is known for his amazingly sonorous basso profundo voice, his courage in the field and his kickass battle cry: “It’s crime-fighting time!”  As the commander of Empire City’s progressive C.O.P.S. (Central Organization of Police Specialists) strike force, B.P. was badly injured in the line of duty, receiving cybernetic enhancements that make his torso a literal “bulletproof vest”

(C.O.P.S. has a number of punny names, most of them quite clever, and this is one of the best.)

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About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Fun trivia: there’s actually a word for this. An aptonym is a name that corresponds to a career or skills.

    From the webcomic world, Goblins Comics takes an interesting approach to this. The central characters are from a village with a shaman, who names every newborn according to her visions of the child’s future. So there’s Complains Loudly, who protests every nonsensical thi g about the world; Dies Horribly, who lives in constant fear; and… Chief. Who is now the village chief. Because he was named Chief upon birth.

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