There are a few endless raging debates in the circles in which I turn: Ginger or Mary-Ann?  Could the Hulk beat Superman?  Why would Penny ever be interested in Leonard in the first place?  But one of the most savage battles comes in the question of whether it would be superior to be a silent master of martial arts, lurking in the shadows, or a brazen buccaneer swinging down from the mizen-mast to shiver someone’s metaphorical timbers.  In my years leaning on a counter in a comic & hobby store, (Gatekeeper Hobbies!  Huntoon & Gage, TOPEKA!  Ask us about our favorite My Little Pony moments!) I have seen a lot of fights break out, but none has been as contentious and as contagious as today’s query, save for the one guy who likes to start fights with political straw men…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) wonders about the wisdom of leaving cowboys out of this one, but figures it will be simpler without ’em, asking:  Pirates or Ninjas?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Ninjas!!! As much as i love pirates, there are too many places on the ship for the ninjas to get stealth kills from. Plus, Drunken pirates against sober martial masters. If for some reason they stood toe to toe pirates might have a chance, but ninjas fight just as dirty if not dirtier than pirates.

  2. No doubt ninjas win in a fight, but I’d rather be a pirate to enjoy all the ale and wenches and the booty. Ninjas never seem to get to enjoy life the way pirates can. As a pirate I would stay away from the homeland of the ninja and not come on their radar and live it up.

  3. Ninjas would win the fight but I am still on team Pirate. Ninjas may win the fight but ill take rum and wenches over rice and mysticism any day.

  4. I just finished watching 199 Heroes. The Pirates (with the help of some angels) beat every type of ninja you can think of at once.

  5. I’m sick of the entire Pirates Vs. Ninjas debate (though I think the Ninja would win nine out of ten times)! I want a less stupid debate.

    Cowboys Vs. Samurai! Who would win?

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