Major Spoilers

    Major Spoilers Question Of The Day: Fully Expecting To Hear A Lot About Batman In This One Edition

    Matthew PetersonBy 16 Comments1 Min Read

    Being on the ultimate cutting edge of pop culture, I discovered last night that there has been some sort of sporting event on television for the last few days, involving hopping about and leaping off stuff and possibly special necklaces.  For a little while, I suspected it was a new season of Super Sentai, but the Brazilian volleyball players didn’t really fit that paradigm.  But this errant thought led to my wondering how Gokai Green might do on uneven bars (which, frankly, is the kind of thought process that kept me out of the really good schools) and whether he has enough chutzpah to outdo Gabby Douglas.

    The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) is not at all impressed with Barry Allen, asking:
    What fictional character would you send to the real Summer Games, and in what event would you enter them?

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    Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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    16 Comments

    2. Llucky on

      Spider-Man : floor exercises. Aquaman : swimming (duh). Superman in everything else. Batman just judges… harshly.

    3. Ricco on

      This brings up a question I asked myself not long ago, how do the Olympics work in the Marvel and DC universe?

      Is there some ridiculous amount of testing going on for athletes or is it a honor system type deal?

      As for who should participate I though about girls volleyball and my mind has yet to return to any type of functionality…

      • Bluecho on

        I would think they’d have a rigorous screening process to make sure no one mutant or metahuman powers snuck in. Although then again, they’d probably invent some kind of superpowered weight class for many of their events just so those athletes with powers don’t feel left out.

    4. wdchefdave on

      Captain America in everything.
      He could beat Batman due to the super serum stuff.
      But, Beast in any gymnastics contest would be cool too!

    5. Thomas on

      Black Cat, Emma Frost, Power Girl, Wonder Women and Starfire as the New Fab Five for Trampoline!!! ^_^

    6. B.V.K. on

      Flash = Track
      Aquaman = Swimming
      Nightcrawler = Gymnastics
      Batman = Judo
      Zhangeif = Wrestling
      Wolverine = Boxing (power on the inside and can’t be KO’d means furry Mike Tyson)
      Black Cat = Floor Exercise
      Avengers = Basketball
      Any female from a Zenescope title = Womens Volleyball

    7. Gehrigan on

      Powergirl and Huntress on volleyball (oh my)
      Nightwing on gymnastics
      Hercules on wrestling
      Captain America on discus
      Thor on hammer throw
      Namor on high dive
      Hawkeye on archery
      Punisher on shooting
      Batroc on hurdles
      Emma frost on ribbons

    8. Frank on

      Tarzan in the decathlon and pentathlon, archery. He might give Batman a run for the money in some events.

    9. Zachariah on

      Smeagol in wrestling, but he will probably get disqualified for biting.
      Multiple Man for synchronized swimming.
      Flash for the pole vault.
      Peter Pan for fencing.

    10. johnny on

      Atlas from Thunderbolts, Giant Man, Black Goliath, Apache Chief, and the Spectacular Stilt-Man as your starting five on the next Dream Team!