Review: Legion of 3 Worlds #3 (of 5)

Or – “85 Superhumans In A Crowded Room…”

Three Legions, no waiting!  Technically, four, if you count Superboy Prime uniting virtually every villain of the 30th Century in LSH-hating-fury…  There’s a storm brewing in Metropolis, and every living Legionnaire has been brought together by the machinations of Brainiac 5.  But, he still has that mysterious lightning rod, and a few tricks up his puffy purple sleeve.

Previously, on Legion of 3 Worlds:  This is exactly why this title should have had nothing to do with Final Crisis.  For one thing, this book is almost coherent.  Last time, Brainiac 5 (with the help of Phantom Girl’s dimension warping powers and the crystal ball used in the DCU’s first breach of the multiverse) summoned the Legion of Earth 247 (Stephen’s “Archie Legion”) and the Legion of Earth W/KRP into their reality.  Superboy Prime found that,  just like the other Clark Kent, he was still remembered in the far-flung future, only by thieves, murderers, mother-stabbers, father-rapers, and telemarketers.  Brainiac 5 made the puzzling decision to send one of his most powerful memebers to Oa, in search of the Last Guardian, a Daxamite Green Lantern called Sodam Yat, while the real Superman led the remaining Legionnaires into battle against unbeateable odds…

We start this issue with a solemn moment: the funeral of Rond Vidar.  The last of the Green Lanterns is seemingly given a Viking funeral, bursting into flame and being consumed into the green power of which he was the final paladin.  “Ganthet be with you, Rond Vidar,” intones Sodam Yat, sending him off with an imporessive display of aerial fireworks, and the knowledge that this will be the last time that he has to bury a fellow Lantern.  Sodam and Mon discuss how hard it is to stand by and watch as everything you hold dear withers and dies, and Yat is amazed to find a kindred spirit (thanks to Mon’s millenium in the Phantom Zone.)  “I don’t think Brainy sent you because you were both Daxamites,” observes Shadow Lass wryly, as Yat rises into the air, recites his oath and begins channeling massive ammounts of emerald energy.  Back in Metropolis, the battle rages on, with Superman and Prime smashing through building after building, as the original Legion rallies against their greatest foes.  Prime actually hurts Superman badly when Superman tries to remind him that they were both young Clark Kent, growing up in Kansas.  Earth-Man, and the Justice League of Earth attack the United Planets Council, only to be attacked by the representative of Lythyl, the former Karate Kid II.  He is summarily annihilated.  The Super-Villains gain the upper hand, and are ready to deliver a killing blow when a cry rings out from above…

“Long Live The Legion!” yells Brainiac 5, leading the Rebooted and Threebooted teams into action, including the welcome addition of two Daxamites, a Wildfire, a couple of Element Lads, the Threeboot Colossal Boy, and Rebooted Star Boy.  The three Ultra Boys quickly leap into action together, bonding hilariously while three Phantom Girls watch them and sigh.  While the fighty fighty goes on, the Brainiacs gather various Lighting Lads and Lasses for something ominous, while Polar Boy, Wildfire, and Dawnstar undertake a secret mission back in time.  They find  a small home in Metropolis, and watch a teenager with a unique destiny before sneaking into his room to grab a souvenir…  but it’s not who you mighty expect.  “Today is an historic day, Wildfire,” says Polar Boy.  “Today is the day Lex Luthor starts losing his hair.”  At Legion headquarters, the Lightning-bearers unite and realize that there are more subtle differences in their worlds, including pronounciation of their home planet, and some of their powers.  Brainiac waves his magic wand and transforms the crystalline Element Lad Garth Ranzz back into Live Wire, and explains that XS isn’t from the rebooted Legion’s world, but indeed from the original continuity.  Man, this is a bit confusing…  Outside, the battle with Tom Welling Prime goes awry as the Threeboot Sun Boy is killed (causing the now-powerless original Sun Boy to nearly collapse in his home.)  Mon-El and Sodam Yat arrive just in time for the Fatal Five to attck Legion headquarters, as the five lightning Legionnaires power up the Cosmic Treadmill, with a little help from XS’ super-speed, and Light Lass gravity nullification powers.  The world breaks open, and we finally find out what Brainiac was doing with that lightning rod all those months ago, as we a greeted with the trimphant return of…   BART ALLEN AS KID FLASH!!

The Joe-Bob totals: shattered Sun Boy, disintegrated Karate Kid II, most of Metopolis squooshed, but we got a Teen Titan back…  The greater part of this issue isn’t actually about the Leigon, it seems, with the recruitment of Yat, and the return of Kid Flash taking up large portions of the issue.  It’s interesting to find that the death of Sun Boy version 3 seemed to have some sort of effect on Sun Boy version 1, and there’s some good stuff going on in here.  The literal “wave-a-magic-wand to-restore-Live-Wire” bit didn’t work for me at all, and a couple of moments with Superman and Tom Welling Prime made me think that Geoff Johns writes Superman as waaaaay too forgiving (this kid has killing hundreds, y’know?) Still, it’s a strong issue, and probably even more impressive if you’re a Legion fanboy like me.  The sight of dozens of Legionnaires flying down into Weisinger Plaza behind Brainiac 5 is goosebumpy, and the return of Gates, Ferro, Shikari and XS is well-worth any confusion that the multiple Phantom Girls might have caused.  Overall, this issue rates a not-bad-at-all 3.5 stars, suffering a little bit in terms of clarity and plotting, but delivering the goods in a way that Final Crisis did not.  Here’s hoping that the next two isues don’t blow it all with something ridiculous like Cosmic Boy in a cave…