It is I, the whimsical Wade Wilson, wishing you a wonderful warning (That’s not too much alliteration is it?) – Buy Deadpool #900, with seven all new stories, my first team up and more!  It seems like only yesterday I was starring in Deadpool #13, but here I am, at the apex of comic glory!  This issue is so big only the most hardcore Deadhead (Isn’t that the name for fans of the Grateful – Shut Up!) creators could handle it!  In the first of seven stories, “Pinky Swear”, is presented by Joe Kelly and Rob Liefeld.  “One Down” is brought to you by Charlie Huston and Kyle Baker and “Close Encounters” is created by Jason Aaron and Rick Staggs.  Mike Benson and Damian Scott deliver “Shrunken Master” while Fred Van Lente and Dalibor Talijic present “Silent But Deadly.”  “What Happens in Vegas” is told by Duane Swierczysnki (Is that how you spell it?) and Shawn Crystal.  And lastly, we have “Great Balls of Thunder on the Deep Blue Sea” by Victor Gischler and Sanford Greene  Watch as your favorite crimson comedian faces off against probe-happy aliens (They didn’t even offer us a drink!) and killer mimes (Did their guns have silencers? Bwahaha)!  But the fun doesn’t stop there, I also meet a shrink that’s crazier than me (You’re crazy?) and partake in a heinous assassination (My favorite type!)!  Bear witness as I wade through (Get it?) the trials and tribulations that every average psychopathic regenerating cancer-ridden red spandex-wearing mercenary assassin has to deal with! And look at that cover by Dave Johnson (I know, it’s so awesome, eh?)—and he’s doing a variant cover too!

Marvel and I have agreed that if retailers don’t check their orders on Deadpool, I will be sad. You wouldn’t like me when I’m sad (No more of my issues that sell out every single time ever!)!  Guns (Guns!), chicken, aliens, mimes, battery cables, and guns (Guns!), ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?  Buy Deadpool #900, starring me, the Merc with a Mouth, immediately when it comes out (Twice!)!

via Deadpool