Or – “Oooh!  Scary Stuff, Kids!  Blah!”  My daughter looked at this issue’s cover and asked me, “Who’s the red monster?”  I told her it was Starbreaker, and he was an alien vampire.  She asked,  “Who’s the princess?”  I informed her that the princess was Doctor Light, and she was a superhero.  She then asked, “Why is she dead?”  I informed her that he was biting her to drain her star-powers and that she only LOOKED dead.  My daughter looked for a minute, shrugged and said, “I still think she’s dead.  And I like Edward Cullen more.”  We all do, baby…  We…

Or – “I Almost Marked This As A Retro Review…” Because “This Just In: Former Batman Bruce Wayne Is Pretty Much Mostly Dead, But Also Somehow Drawing Cave Paintings In The Pleistocene Era” is just too unwieldy as it rolls off the tongue…

Or – “Meanwhile, Back At The Space Ranch…” While Hal Jordan has had his hands full with Red and Blue Lantern issues (and been possessed by rings of both Corps) in sector 666, the rest of the known universe has also been dealing with buildup to the upcoming Blackest Night, and the remaining 7199 Lanterns have likewise been out and about with things to do, but only one book to show for themselves…  Now that I mention it, 7199 to 1 seems to be an unfair ratio of Green Lanterns between the two books.  Hal Jordan must have one hell…

Or – “Love In The Time Of Cauliflower Ear…” After last issue’s events, the members of the Six have discovered that one of their own is NOT a traitor at all, but a noble dunderhead who couldn’t think of any way to protect his friends other than shooting them and stealing their ride.  Scandal Savage may have found the secret to bringing her lost love back from the dead, and Bane has had his brains beaten out with a series of bricks (and with Bane, you can’t imagine that he’s got much to spare.)  This issue, an even worse fate…