Review: Rapid-Fire Reviews – Stale Chocolate Edition!

Or – “I Decided To Trick Or Treat With My Kid Instead… Sorry.”

The MUSIC MEEEISSSSTERRRR! Sing the song that the world wants to heeeear! Man, I’ve had that stuck in my head for WEEKS, now. This particular RFR was meant to go up last week, just in time for the annual festival of half-price chocolate, but various things conspired to keep me from completing it until today. For those of you who can’t get enough comic review goodness, I’ve got the cowbell to slake your fever, and it’s time to ask ourselves, baby, what’s the word? In the words of the great philosopher Aloysius Bundy: “Let’s ROCK.”

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Review: Rapid-Fire Reviews Battle Network 5 Operate Shooting Star!

Or – “Hey, Vent! You Ready To Move Out?”

When you read monthly comic books the way that I do, often times you get to the point where you feel like you know what’s coming, when every title feels like you’ve read it before. On the other hand, you have the odd experience where you read a title or issues that you KNOW you’ve read before, but you cannot for the life of you remember how it’s supposed to end. With over a hundred monthly titles coming out, sometimes you need to play catchup, you need to go where everybody knows your name to the land of the Rapid Fire Revieeeeewwww!

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Rapid-Fire Reviews: Labor Day Edition

Or – “Most People Don’t Know That His Full Name Is Manuel Labór.”

 

So, I have completed my daily labors, overseeing the dozen fellers and gals what make up the current workgroup to call themselves Team RamRod (“See, you’re Arkot Ramathorn… Ram. And I’m Rodney Farva… Rod. Team RamRod!”) and I am preparing to have some spaghetti and hang out with friends, but first I wanted to catch up with some of the many titles that I’ve neglected over the busy last days of August…

RAPID-FIRE REVIEW TIME!

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Rapid Fire Reviews: The Next Generation

Or – “Sir, I Protest! I Am NOT A Merry Man!!!”

Once again, we’ve come to the situation where Stately Spoilers Manor contains far more comics than there are days to review ‘em, leading once again unto the Final Frontier… NUQNEH – NOOKNEHH! Phasers on summarize!

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Review: Final Crisis – Legion of 3 Worlds #5 (of 5)

Or – “We Almost Had To GET To The Far-Flung Future To Read This One!”

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Awkward confession time:  I’ve kind of been using this series and it’s lateness as a justification for my lateness with the last few Legion Hero Histories.  I was very surprised to find this book on the coming attractions list for the week, as it really underlines the fact that George Perez, Geoff Johns and I are waaaaay late.

I’m gonna go ahead and blame Jim Shooter…

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Review: Rapid-Fire Reviews 33 1/3 – The Smell of Fear

Or – “Of Course I’m Serious. And Don’t Call Me Shirley.”

 

Oh say can you see…
By the dawn’s early light!
What so proudly we hail…
In the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose bright stripes and broad stars,
In the perilous night…
For the ramparts we watched,
uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa…
And the rocket’s red glare!
Buncha bombs in the air!
Gave proof to the night!
That we still had our flag!
Oh say does that flag banner wave,
Over a-a-all that’s free!
And the home of the land…
And the land of the – FREE!

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Review: Final Crisis Aftermath – Dance #2 (of 6)

Or – “Something Is Rotten In The State Of Hokkaido…”

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Last issue, the Super Young Team went global and set out to conquer the Western Hemisphere the way they’ve captured the imaginations of Japan.  If only this decision weren’t based on the machinations of a mysterious cabal that wants to cover up strange and unsavory doings back home in the Land of the Rising Sun…

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Review: Final Crisis Aftermath – Escape #2 (of 6)

Or – “WHO IS NUMBER ONE?”

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Tom Tresser, the agent known as Nemesis, has been captured by a mysterious faction and taken to Electric City, a strange and mysterious place where everyone seems to be a former intelligence agent, and the faceless goons of the Global Peace Agency keep a mostly benevolent watch over all, using drugs and disorientation to keep their “guests” off their feet.  Though Number Two has yet to make an appearance, I can’t help but wonder if Electric City isn’t located on the sea somewhere in the vicinity of Wales…

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Rapid-Fire Science Theatre 3000 – Manos, The Reviews of Fate

Or – “Off To Meet My Doom, Mom! See You After School!”

  

Comic book publishing schedules puzzle me. The Twelve hasn’t come out in what seems like a year, while Agents of Atlas is apparently on a bi-weekly status, and Spider-Man is coming out every sixteen minutes or so. Wolverine alone accounts for half the forests destroyed in the United States every month. The major publishers can’t seem to decide whether it’s a market for the celebrity auteur writer, or whether it’s the characters who sell the books regardless of creator. When Wolverine #73 came out a few weeks ago (before the publication of #72) it occurred to me that the entire industry is run by the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert, and that I should really just relax.

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Review: Final Crisis Aftermath – Dance #1

Or – “Cheese!”

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Japan is one of those world cultures that has been so thorougly disseminated that most every one of us could tell you what we THINK it’s like in the land of the Rising Sun.  I suspect that there aren’t schoolgirls who appear to be well above 18 on every street corner, nor are there flying cars full of cyborgs or guys with incredibly spiky hair everywhere you turn.  For all the things Japan has given us, (Anime, Sony, every intarweb girl Stephen loves, creepy robot dogs, even a regular love life during my college years) we’re about to get one more import, in the form of the greatest new super-team in the DCU!

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Review: Final Crisis Aftermath – Escape #1 (of 6)

Or – “By Hook, Or By Crook, We WILL.”

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Tom Tresser has spent a lot of time in a lot of different portions of the DC Universe.  Those who only know him as Wonder Woman’s beau have missed a lot of things, including his war against organized crime, a couple of runs in Amanda Waller’s Suicide Squad, and a general badassery that many heroes could only wish they commanded.  After the events of Final (really more of a Penultimate) Crisis, Tom Tresser is about to wake up in the worst situation he’s ever faced…

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