REVIEW: Crossed – Badlands #25

Or – “Why Do I DO This To Myself?”

Y’know when you have a bad tooth, and any time you touch it with your tongue, it jolts a little lightning bolt of pain down your jaw and makes your whole head ache?  But, even so, you can’t help but futz with it with the tip of your tongue all day, constantly stabbing your own nervous system with meaningless little barbs, the immediately regretting it, just because you can’t help yourself?

That is my relationship with the Crossed franchise.  Your Major Spoilers review awaits!

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Avatar Press looks to BOOM! Studios to distribute their books

Press Release

BOOM! Studios announced today that it has entered into an agreement with Avatar Press to distribute their graphic novels to the book trade.  This agreement will see BOOM! distributing Avatar in the United States via BOOM!’s existing relationship with Simon & Schuster and Canadian distribution through BOOM!’s existing relationship with HarperCollins Canada.

The new BOOM! Studios/Avatar mass market partnership sees two of the top ten Direct Market publishers teaming up for a unique relationship, extending both brands into the mass market.

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REVIEW: Crossed: Family Values #7

Addy Pratt leads her family through the apocalyptic wasteland inhabited by the Crossed, sadistic and perverse creatures that inflict themselves on the ever-dwindling human population. Will Addy be able to deliver her remaining family members from the infected claws of evil? Read on…if you dare.

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Review: Rapid-Fire Reviews Battle Network 5 Operate Shooting Star!

Or – “Hey, Vent! You Ready To Move Out?”

When you read monthly comic books the way that I do, often times you get to the point where you feel like you know what’s coming, when every title feels like you’ve read it before. On the other hand, you have the odd experience where you read a title or issues that you KNOW you’ve read before, but you cannot for the life of you remember how it’s supposed to end. With over a hundred monthly titles coming out, sometimes you need to play catchup, you need to go where everybody knows your name to the land of the Rapid Fire Revieeeeewwww!

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Rapid Fire Reviews: The Next Generation

Or – “Sir, I Protest! I Am NOT A Merry Man!!!”

Once again, we’ve come to the situation where Stately Spoilers Manor contains far more comics than there are days to review ‘em, leading once again unto the Final Frontier… NUQNEH – NOOKNEHH! Phasers on summarize!

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Review: Crossed #6 (of 9)

Or – “Never Be Afraid To Reassess Your Opinions…”

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Several months ago, I reviewed the first issue of Crossed, and found nothing of worth within the pages.  Because it was a Rapid-Fire Review, I didn’t have a whole lot of space to cover what I disliked about the issue, but the primary problem that struck me was yet another use of the “child in danger” gambit to try and up the emotional ante.  Still, the combination of what I couldn’t say in such a small space and my appreciation of Garth Ennis’ work (along with some of the less generous opinions regarding recent review of ‘The Boys,’ another Ennis joint) have caused me to return to the scene of the crime and to verify whether my first impression was indeed one I would stand behind.

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Rapid-Fire Science Theatre 3000 – Manos, The Reviews of Fate

Or – “Off To Meet My Doom, Mom! See You After School!”

  

Comic book publishing schedules puzzle me. The Twelve hasn’t come out in what seems like a year, while Agents of Atlas is apparently on a bi-weekly status, and Spider-Man is coming out every sixteen minutes or so. Wolverine alone accounts for half the forests destroyed in the United States every month. The major publishers can’t seem to decide whether it’s a market for the celebrity auteur writer, or whether it’s the characters who sell the books regardless of creator. When Wolverine #73 came out a few weeks ago (before the publication of #72) it occurred to me that the entire industry is run by the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert, and that I should really just relax.

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REVIEW: No Hero #1 – 4

Or – “How Much Do You Want To Be A Super-Human?”

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Many years ago, I managed to track down a leather-bound copy of a book entitled “The Encyclopedia of Super-Heroes.”  It listed, in ridiculous detail, as many of the superheroes created between 1938 and 1984 or so as the writer could possibly document, from Superman and Batman down to one-shot wonders like Butterfly and Hell-Rider, to advertising characters like Bud-Man.  Since then, I’ve often wondered how difficult it would be to update that volume, since the 90′s comic boom created thousands of guys whose names are synonyms for “fight,” and gave us easily as many new heroes as were in the entire original book.  But another question floated to the front of my mind while reading these issues.  If you had the opportunity, and you really wanted to be in that book, to have powers and costume and the whole schmear, REALLY wanted it…  What price would you be willing to pay to be Superman?

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Rapid-Fire Reviews XIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Or – “Three Weeks Of Comics In Handy Bite-Sized Servings!”

A side-effect of reading as many comics as I do comes when, after a particulary heavy week of reads, you find all the stories kind of blurring together into one.  It makes for some pretty entertaining nightmares as well, like the one where Wonder Woman was guarding the galaxy against marauding zombies who wanted to shape-shift into teenagers and make out while simultaneously refitting all of our cars to fly and emit fire, and also giving our grandparents cyborg limbs that glow in the dark.  So, I got that going for me…  which is nice.

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Review: Return Of The Son Of The Bride Of Rapid-Fire Reviews Part Eight – The Final Chapter

Or – “I Think We Can Be Certain It’s Not Really Final…”

I started to try and write a big clever open, but y’know what? 

RACCOON WITH A HEAVY MACHINE GUN!!!!!

How am I s’pose to top that?

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Review: Rapid-Fire Reviews II: Electric Boogaloo!!

Or – “Hell, Man… I Only Have So Much Free Time!”

There seems to be a thing out there called “Real Life.”  It’s composed mostly of things to annoy you and drain your wallet of cash, but sometimes it also feeds on your free time.  One of the joys of this gig is getting to share the wondrous things that happen in comics and split the burdens of that which is terrible, which means I usually bite off more than I can chew in terms of comics that I’d like to review.  Since this has happened yet again, it’s time to play catch-up (because mustard stains the carpet.)

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