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Agents of Atlas

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Or – “April Showers Bring May Flowers, But Mayflowers Only Bring Religious Dissidents…” Man, it has been a LOOOONG month of May.  The comics industry seems intent on moving to $3.99 price points, The Eleventh Doctor got hit on, and Scarlett Johanssen looks great in skintight stretch fabrics.  In any case, since another month has come and gone, and it’s a three-day weekend for many in the United States we’ve got time to look at a couple dozen things that have come out in recent weeks, Rapid-Fire Style! 

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Or – “There Are Old Pilots And Bold Pilots, But Few Old, Bold Pilots…” I saw recently that a clinical study proved that January 25th is the most depressing day of the entire year, scientifically and unequivocally.  While I don’t disagree with that sentiment (especially as it regards the attendance of employees in Midwestern United States call centers) I find it fascinating that somebody actually got paid to try and figure out something that silly and (let’s be honest, here) banal.  Still and all, it’s the kind of story that you read and go, “Yeah, I can see that.”  Thus,

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Marvel has announced the creative teams behind the upcoming Avengers VS. Atlas series, that features the original Avengers taking on the forces of Atlas.

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Or – “Turkey Fact #12: If You Leave A Turkey Out In The Rain, He’ll Drown… Stupid Bird.”   Every year, I tell myself that I’m going to take it easy on Thanksgiving, and every year, I pretty much feel like a python who swallowed a wild boar. Yesterday, I had three slices of pie, an enormous wedge of ham, and half a bag of crackers with cheese spread, and that was the day BEFORE the holiday feasting. In order to help you digest YOUR Thanksgiving dinner, (Disclaimer: May not be valid in all areas!) we’ve got another line-up of

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Marvel sent out another teaser, and we’re more than happy to play along. AVENGERS VS. ATLAS #1 (of 4) Written by JEFF PARKER Penciled by GABRIEL HARDMAN Cover by HUMBERTO RAMOS Variant Cover by GABRIEL HARDMAN Rated T+ …$3.99 The issue arrives January 6, 2010. via Marvel

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Or – “Why Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work…” Jimmy Woo and his Agents have crossed swords with tyrants, monsters, aliens, even the cyborg son of the villain known as the Mandarin, but nothing could prepare him for an opponent who shares his resources, who heads up an organization as pervasive and insidious as Atlas, who even has a bigger killer robot!  Worse than that, his antagonist has been revealed to be his long-lost love Suwan…  Fame.  Ain’t it a b!+c#?

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Or – “Most People Don’t Know That His Full Name Is Manuel Labór.”   So, I have completed my daily labors, overseeing the dozen fellers and gals what make up the current workgroup to call themselves Team RamRod (“See, you’re Arkot Ramathorn… Ram. And I’m Rodney Farva… Rod. Team RamRod!”) and I am preparing to have some spaghetti and hang out with friends, but first I wanted to catch up with some of the many titles that I’ve neglected over the busy last days of August… RAPID-FIRE REVIEW TIME!

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Or – “Of Course I’m Serious. And Don’t Call Me Shirley.”   Oh say can you see… By the dawn’s early light! What so proudly we hail… In the twilight’s last gleaming? Whose bright stripes and broad stars, In the perilous night… For the ramparts we watched, uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa… And the rocket’s red glare! Buncha bombs in the air! Gave proof to the night! That we still had our flag! Oh say does that flag banner wave, Over a-a-all that’s free! And the home of the land… And the land of the – FREE!

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Or – “We Hold These Comics To Be Self-Evident…” Today is American Independence Day, commonly referred to as July 4th, as it takes place on the 4th of July, hence the name, and that’s why the song is called Alice’s Restaurant… To all the faithful Spoilerites of the United States, Happy 4th of July. For those of you who are from elsewhere, sorry about all the hegemony and stuff. Either way, it’s time for another bout of our Rapid Fire Reviews, bite-sized chunks of comics that I either couldn’t write three paragraphs about, or ran out of time to cover.

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Marvel is trying to tempt readers to the Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited service once again by offering up Agents of Atlas #0 and Agents of Atlas #1 for free. Collecting three new-reader friendly short stories from Secret Invasion: Who Do You Trust, Dark Reign: New Nation and Agents of Atlas #7, all written by critically-acclaimed scribe Jeff Parker, you’ll get the answers to your questions! Who are the Agents of Atlas? What role did they play in Secret Invasion? What’s their new mission during Dark Reign? And just what’s it like to take a peek inside the mind of the

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Or – “Off To Meet My Doom, Mom! See You After School!”    Comic book publishing schedules puzzle me. The Twelve hasn’t come out in what seems like a year, while Agents of Atlas is apparently on a bi-weekly status, and Spider-Man is coming out every sixteen minutes or so. Wolverine alone accounts for half the forests destroyed in the United States every month. The major publishers can’t seem to decide whether it’s a market for the celebrity auteur writer, or whether it’s the characters who sell the books regardless of creator. When Wolverine #73 came out a few weeks

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Or – “OH, GNAAAAAAAAAAARRRRLY!!” It’s so easy to blow up your problems, it’s so easy to play up your breakdown.  It’s so easy to fly through a window, it’s so easy to fool with the sound.  Life’s the same, I’m moving in stereo…  Life’s the same, except for my shoes.  Life’s the same, you’re shakin’ like tremolo.  Life’s the same, it’s all inside you.  Life’s the same, I’m moving in stereo…  Life’s the same, except for my shoes.  Life’s the same, you’re shakin’ like tremolo.  Life’s the same, it’s all inside you!

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Or – “Cameos.  The Mark Of Staying Power In The Marvel Universe.” Robert Grayson.  The original Marvel Boy.  Bob probably has the most visible track record of all the Agents, having had his own series back in the day, a high-profile return and seeming death in Fantastic Four some time later, and several other schmucks who have taken his name and run with it.  Originally possessing the Quantum Bands that later fell to Wendell Vaughan, Bob now uses his superior technology and alien-rewired brain for the greater good, whether the world wants the greater good or not.  But is even

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Or – “The Sensational Character Finds Of 1958…  Give Or Take Half A Century.” Namora of Atlantis.  Serious biceps on a serious superhuman.  The various Agents of Atlas each have their own special niche in life, and hers is “The Muscle.”  More reasonable than her cousin, more powerful than her disintegrated daughter, she still looks pretty awesome in black leather and a crown of shells.  Now, take this into account: She’s over 75 years old. Kinda puts Grandma in a whole new light, doesn’ t it?

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