Author: Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

Often, I get a lot of static for my belief that the Invincible Iron Man has never looked better than he did between issue 200 and the end of the Armor Wars back in the mid-80s.  The usual complaints are that he abandoned the trademark red-and-gold armor colors (which I can understand, although there have been additional palette adjustments since then that are more drastic) and that the shoulder pads and gauntlets looked awkward and derivative of the Transformers.  In my mind, Iron Man looked like he was wearing an actual armored costume made of metal for the first time…

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Or – “Why Do I DO This To Myself?” Y’know when you have a bad tooth, and any time you touch it with your tongue, it jolts a little lightning bolt of pain down your jaw and makes your whole head ache?  But, even so, you can’t help but futz with it with the tip of your tongue all day, constantly stabbing your own nervous system with meaningless little barbs, the immediately regretting it, just because you can’t help yourself? That is my relationship with the Crossed franchise.  Your Major Spoilers review awaits!

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I was a little surprised, upon a recent viewing of ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, to discover that Yoda’s trademark speech patterns were less mangled than in his most recent appearances.  (He still sounded pretty much like Grover, though.)  The little green Jedi isn’t the weirdest speaker in the annals of pop culture, though, as the Scissormen from Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol were as verbally disorienting as they were visually disturbing and the title character of V For Vendetta’s vernacular vaguely vexes vigilant viewers via voraciously variant vocabulary.  And imagine how much worse Ted Striker’s day might have gotten had Beaver’s mom…

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We’ve all been there.  There are an infinite number of Lumberghs clogging the arteries of companies around the world, a vast array of Captain Matt Deckers leading their crews to certain doom, endless legions of Sergeant Hartmanns, abusing and berating their charges until the people they oversee take drastic action in the latrine with live ammunition.  Everybody has had or knows someone who has had a bad manager, terrible boss or gawdawful teacher.  Sadly, not everybody has the option to give them the comeuppance they so richly deserve (in part because, strangely enough, TPS report cover sheet forms don’t combust…

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Or – “#1 Didn’t Quite Capture My Imagination…” After reading Age Of Ultron #1, I found myself convinced that there was little more to the concept than “Days Of Future Past” for the Avengers.  Will #2 be able to change that cynical assessment?  Your Major Spoilers review awaits!

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Often, I hear the argument that Batman is beloved as a superhero because he has no super-powers.  Leaving aside the questionable nature of that claim (Batman is a genius-level intellect who has the unlimited funding to take five years to learn ninjitsu without worrying about needing a job) you have to wonder why other characters without any super-powers aren’t as beloved as the big bad Bat.  Is it the pointy hat?  The endless string of brightly colored cannon-fodder partners? Is it the car? I’ve heard that the chicks do dig it, although that may no longer be in continuity, since…

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DC

Or – “The Second Wave Is Nearly A Year Old…” The New 52 launch was, for me, mostly successful.  Though DC editorial clearly chose a few titles/creators to court controversy rather than focus on the product, there was at least a clear line drawn in the sand that said “We’re doing this differently.”  (Even Batman and Green Lantern, though cosmetically unchanged, had some fundamental bits that were drastically adjusted.)  Now, as the New DC works towards its second anniversary, the next big thing has transitioned into the monthly grind of actually delivering titles.  Earth-2 was my favorite of DC’s second…

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In college, I found myself entertained when a fellow student explained to me his taste in women: “I like ’em exotic, with blue eyes and blonde hair.”  (He was from Japan.)  But no matter whether that statement is funny to you or not, Takashi’s preference did exemplify the power that hair color has in your choice of paramour or even just your choice of eye-candy.  Unlike the real world, nobody in TV or movies ever seems to have a boring hair-color, choosing instead to frost and dye their hair into bizarre combinations.  Upon moving to my current city of origin,…

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Or – “A Blueprint For What Once Was…” With my recent review of the new Valiant’s take on Shadowman, I started remembering the fun that was the old Valiant universe, a time when future and past tied together, when Solar was (slightly) less of a jerk, back when the speculators were around but hadn’t quite destroyed the entire comics industry yet.  It was a time of world-building, and from that instinct came this issue…  Your Major Spoilers retro review awaits!

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Oh, the wonders of Netflix, reminding us of things we had totally forgotten we knew.  Recently, I watched the first episode of ‘Emergency’ from Ninteen-Seventy-Mumble-Mutter, and perfectly remembered an entire scene, despite the fact that it’s been years since I’d ever actually sat down and watched the show.  Interestingly, I found quite a few of those moments in the episodes I watched, from the show’s opening narration to the kinetic closing theme song, all of which seemed as familiar to me as the layout of my own living room.  It’s a solid show, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t…

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Or – “Haven’t I Already Reviewed The Origin Of Star-Lord?” The return of Peter Quill and the Star-Lord character’s ascension to a place of prominence in the Marvel Universe has been something of a surprise to me, but a welcome surprise nonetheless.  My only real worry is that everyone on the cover has ugly, over-detailed armor.  What’s going on INSIDE the book?  Your Major Spoilers review awaits!

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Or – “A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu…” Having been reading comics since the late 1970s, it’s sometimes hard not to turn into a cynical jackwagon, snorting about how everything is stupid, how each new idea will suck, and how I saw this the FIRST time around, and it didn’t work then.  How successful I am at subverting that cliché depends on my mood (and probably the reader’s perspective) but the new Valiant revival has hit all the right notes with me, pretty much across the board.  Now that Shadowman (possessor of the single greatest chest emblem in comics history)…

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I found great enjoyment in my youth in the shows of Nickelodeon, from ‘You Can’t Do That On Television” to the extra-strange antics of Dave Coulier on “Out Of Control.”  But probably my favorite of those ever-so-80s entertainments came in the cartoon adventures of Danger Mouse.  Not Cee Lo’s old musical partner, but the eye-patched debonair rodent of action, whose adventures could be seen each day after I got home from school.  Though I occasionally chanced upon the occasional single DVD or (perish forbid) VHS copy of DM’s adventures in the years since then, it wasn’t until 2011 that a…

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Or – “Sometimes, A Single Creator Makes All The Difference…” In recent years, I’ve gained a great appreciation for the writing skills of Kieron Gillen (not to be confused with Karen Gillan) and when I heard he was taking over the reins of Iron Man for the Marvel NOW! launchboot, I was intrigued.  Then, they announced the artist for the book…  Good writing can make or break a book, but can it overcome the weaknesses of a collaborator?  Your Major Spoilers review awaits!

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