After running, gunning, and grunting in the Duke’s boots for a week I’ve been trying very hard to pick out the one element of the game that I disliked the most. The story is a strong competitor for first, because its quality suggests that 3D Realms (or one of the other four games studios that developed this title) kidnapped a group of hyper-active teens, force fed them Mountain Dew and action movies for a week, and then locked them in a room until something resembling a plot and dialogue were scratched into the walls.
Then there is the gameplay, which despite some genuinely fun shooting sequences, is so utterly confused about its own pacing that you feel like you’re being punished for playing the fun portions of the game. “Oh, did you enjoy that epic boss battle? Well, here is a dream segment where all you can do is slowly walk around a strip club looking for popcorn.”
To be fair, Duke had its fair share of “f%^& yeah!” moments, but there is a cloud of disappointment that looms over the whole experience. This is mostly due to some very legitimate reasons, but maybe it’s also because, after fourteen years of buildup Duke couldn’t do anything else but collapse under the weight of its own hype. Fourteen years, we built Duke up in our imaginations to be something more than a game, and that’s where it probably should have stayed.
