Here at Major Spoilers, we’re more than just capes and tights (though we love those, too).  When it comes to the literary genres, there’s also a lot of M.S. love for hard-boiled detective fiction, like your Philips Marlowe, your Sams Spade and your Slams Bradley.  As a kid, I remember enjoying the Continental Op (though, as an adult, I’ve become a fan of Operator No. 5, partly because my job description is literally “Operator”) and I used to watch Stacy Keach as Mike Hammer in high school.  There are a lot of cool detectives out there, from Ms. Tree to Lew Archer to Clyde Umney, leading us to today’s film noir query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) lives an absurd life, and thus needs the absurdist detecting skills of Nick Danger, Third Eye, asking: What hard-boiled detective would you choose to get you out of a jam?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. If Ms. Fisher from Ms. Fisher’s Murder Mysteries counts as “hard boiled,” i pick Ms. Fisher.

    I could continue with another egg pun, but that’d be gauche

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