It is said that when you’re in Texas, you should look behind you. Today’s list might remind you why. Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Walkers!

Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian The Eyes of the Ranger, Presents:

TEN THINGS: TEN WALKERS!

10) TYPHOID

Mary Walker (aka Bloody Mary aka Typhoid Mary aka Mutant Zero aka Red) is one of several characters living with the comic book version of Dissociative Identity Disorder. While her Mary self is a quiet sweet pacifist, Bloody Mary is a man-hating killer without mercy. Typhoid, on the other hand, is a hedonist and nudity aficionado who was just as likely to sleep with her targets as she was to kill ’em, using her telekinetic and pyrokinetic powers. She also has telepathy, which keeps others from realizing that her various alters are all the same woman, fooling even the enhanced sense of Daredevil, who has faced her in both combat and carnal situations.

9) XERO


Professional basketball player by day, cybernetically enhanced hitman by night, Coltrane Walker wore not one mask, but TWO. Thanks to his resurrection by a special enzyme nanoserum, Trane is utterly remorseless and a perfect killing machine, hiding his famous features behind the lifelike mask of a Caucasian man during his life as a “closer.” His black ops adventures ended with him once again dead, but with the spectre of another possible resurrection by his amoral employers. His battle gear gave him the ability to camouflage himself, fire bursts of unknown energy, and even pass through walls.

8) THE BLACK SCORPION


A police officer by day, Darcy Walker was driven to become a vigilante when her father (also the police commissioner) was shot by criminals. Using an arsenal of specialized equipment developed by her friend Argyle and a costume that… honestly doesn’t provide much protection, the Black Scorpion battled crime and corruption in ’90’s Los Angeles. Her TV adventures were produced by Roger Corman himself, and she was at one point portrayed by Joan Severance, a strong contender for the most beautiful woman in the world.

7) MADAME .44

Based on a Golden Age western hero of the same name, Madame .44 is Jeanne Walker, who was trapped in a mine collapse. Upon digging free, she found herself in another dimension, the world of Haponot, where a demonic being called Kerberos ruled with an iron fist and/or claw. Using her skills with a gun, Madame .44 deposed the dictator, but when last seen, she was still trapped in that other world.

6) CHARAXES


At the beginning of his super-villain career, Drury Walker set out to be the anti-Batman, a criminal Dark Knight who aided the criminals. He even had his own Mothmobile and Moth-Signal and the façade of a millionaire by day, even though he had no way of knowing that Batman did. Sadly, Killer Moth got no respect at all, leading him to sell his soul to Neron for power. What he got was a twisted, insectoid form in which he consumed human flesh and spun cocoons, eventually being ripped in half by Superboy-Prime.

It’s like Rod Serling kept tryin’ to tell us: Be careful what you wish for.

5) THE BLACK RACER


Once known as paralyzed veteran Willie Walker, former Army sergeant, the Black Racer is currently an incarnation of Death itself. Essentially immortal and able to travel through any wall or barrier, and even across deep space, The Black Racer is the last thing that natives of the Fourth World see before they pass over into what comes next. Some would say that his red-yellow-and-blue armor means that the Racer is named for Sgt. Walker’s ethnicity, but The Black Racer name predates Willie as its corporeal host, which implies that “black” isn’t a reference to the color, but the void itself.

4) THE PHANTOM


I’m probably gonna get static for not having him higher on the list, but remember: Ten Things is a collection, not a ranking! Debuting in 1936, Christopher “Kit” Walker is the 21st Phantom and the protector of Bengalla, a fictional country in either South Asia or Africa, depending on the telling. Though he technically has no super powers, The Phantom is a world-class athlete and has an array of weapons at his disposal, as well as rings which may have magical properties. Of course, that’s not to say that criminals don’t THINK he’s an immortal being who can turn to smoke and chase them all the way to purgatory and beyond…

3) HELLCAT

Based on a Golden Age Archie-style romance protagonist, Patsy Walker was retconned into the Marvel Universe in the 1970s. In-universe, her mother was the writer of the comic book adventures of teenage Patsy, while adult Patsy ended up in an unhappy marriage with a jerk who was employed by the corrupt Brand Corporation. She eventually discovered a power-enhancing costume once worn by a hero called The Cat, taking it for herself to become the happy-go-lucky Hellcat! She served with the Avengers, Defenders, and Lady Liberators, she has led a full life, including marriage, divorce, psychic powers, and at least two deaths-with-ensuing-trips-to-hell.

I mean, it IS in her name.

2) BLACK BETTY


A far-too-rare example of a positive plus-sized portrayal in comics, Betty Walker kills monsters. Her “super-powers” are clubs, firearms, and blades of many kinds, but in a worst-case scenario, she can actually absorb creatures into her own body, dispersing them, but leaving a permanent reminder on her skin as a tattoo. As an ally of Zombie Tramp, she is an associate of the Danger Doll Squad, a loose quasi-team of monster-hunters, monsters, and animated dolls.

1) THE U.S.AGENT


Sometimes known as Conservative Captain America, Fascist Captain America, or “Kurt Russell’s son,” John Walker is a former professional wrestler who became a superhero (in a manner of speaking) as Super Patriot. His stints as Captain America have been short-lived, but not unimpressive, as not even losing multiple limbs in battle has kept U.S. Agent off the front lines for long. This particular costume was worn during his time as a field agent of STARS (the Superhuman Tactical Activities Response Squad) during a time when Earth was chosen as an alien dumping ground for dissidents and criminals by the Kree Empire.

Once again, this week’s topic, Ten Walkers is all me, but feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra to suggest your own! There’s always more Ten Things madness on my Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because there are only so many names in the world and nearly everybody walks. Either way, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!


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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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