Every super-team needs their Big Guy… Some are just bigger than others. Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Supers Over Six Feet Tall!
Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and Benjamin Grimm, the modern trope-maker of The Big Guy, Presents:
TEN THINGS: TEN SUPERS OVER SIX FEET TALL!
10) LADY SIF (6’2″ – 18 cm)
The legendary warrior woman of Asgard, Sif is a regular member of the “Should Be Thor’s Lady Love” squad ever since her debut in 1964. For a time, she even merged her essence with Jane Foster, allowing Jane to transform into her powerful Asgardian form. Though not remarkably large by Asgardian terms, her enhanced musculature and stature make her an imposing figure on Earth, tipping the scales at over 400 pounds of muscle. After the War of the Realms, she has replaced her late brother Heimdall as the guardian of the legendary Rainbow Bridge.
9) MACHO MA’AM (6’3″ – 190 cm)
An arm-wrestler by trade, Tulip Overton took her first real loss hard, vowing to become the strongest woman on Earth. Gathering a bunch of scientific equipment and belying her complete lack of scientific training (or indeed scientific knowledge) Tulip successfully increased her physical strength by a factor of a thousand. Ironically, though, because she built the machine in a blind rage, she has discover that the angrier she gets, the weaker she gets. Finding little satisfaction in defeating her arm-wrestling oppenents, Macho Ma’am decided to break criminal faces instead, regardless of the severity of the infraction. Woe betide even a litterer who crosses her path.
8) DONNER (6’5″ – 195 cm)
The origin of Gerri Brauer’s superhuman strength and durability is unrevealed, but what is known is that her grandfather was a literal N*zi and a genticist by trade. Gerri has given up on her family’s white supremacist ways and become a superhero. As a member of Dharma’s Shadow Cabinet, she met the love of her life, Blitzen, with whom she shares a long-term relationship, even quitting the Cabinet to form a team called The Heroes, who really need a publicist and a copywriter to give them a new name.
7) BEEF (6’6″ – 198 cm)
There is a stereotype that someone who is large and strong must also be dull-witted, and whomever came up with that expectation was probably thinking of Buford Wilson. Recruited into the White Queen’s Hellions to replace the lost Thunderbird (who became X-Force’s Warpath), he served without distinction as the team’s brute. Perhaps his higest profile moment came when Namorita beat the bajeezus out of him, followed closely by his death at the hands of Trevor Fitzroy.
6) JHEN THE GAMMAZON (6’7″ – 200 cm)
A member of the 22nd Century Cosmic Avengers, Jhen is the only surviving clone of Jennifer Walters, the original 20th Century She-Hulk. Her few appearances never specify her heigh, but she is pretty much a perfect replica of Jennifer, who stands six foot seven, allowing me to make an estimation. She worked with the future Avengers for several years, but it is unclear whether or not she survived the team’s last battle with Korvac.
5) CITADEL (6’9″ – 205 cm)
An android once called Bastion, Citadel is a key member of the Freedom Phalanx in the world of ‘City of Heroes’. With nigh-invulnerability and the ability harness unknown energy blasts, he serves as a contact for new heroes during the time on Talos Island. Once again, I’ve had to estimate his height, but he stands half-a-head taller than Statesman, who is a Superman-analogue character. Since Superman is canonically six-foot-four, I am confident that this estimate is pretty close to accurate. Just don’t ask me about the Back Alley Brawler…
4) FRAT-MAN (7’1″ – 216 cm)
One of a literal army of heroes who arrived to try out for WildGuard, the first super-team to be chosen by a reality-show competition, Frat-Man is huge, tough and ultimately unsuccessful in his bid. Part of that may come from the fact that he represents the Eye Aitch Weird-Exclamation Point fraternity, which even the Lambda Lambda Lambas or the misfits of Delta House would probably outwit, outplay and outlast with ease.
3) BLOODAXE (7’2″ – 218 cm)
After discovering the Bloodaxe once wielded by Skurge The Executioner, Jackie Lukus was transformed into a huge, superhuman form. Initially, her new body looked almost exactly like Skurge, including the armor he worse as a member of the Masters of Evil, eventually Jackie updated to a much more metal look, using her new-found invulnerability to great advantage as a recurring foe of Thor and later Thunderstrike. Ironically, in her human form, she shared a mutual attraction with Eric Masterson, Thunderstrike’s alter-ego.
2) HAKA (7’3″ – 221 cm)
An alternate universe version of Aata Wakarewarewa of the Prime Wardens, Arataki Wakarewarewa shares his power, his prowess and his status as paragon of humanity. After the events of the Obvliaeon War, she has been trapped on his world, while Aata/Haka was sent off into another timeline, and the two of them represent the only surviving Hakas anywhere in the Multiverse. She has a tendency to punch first and ask questions later, which makes her acclimation to her new timline a little bit complicated (as shown when she attempted to attack a colleague who, in her world, is a villain and not a hero.)
1) BEHEMOTH (9’5″ – 287 cm)
After being thrown through time by the Time Trapper, XS of the Legion of Super-Heroes ended up in the 100th Century, where she encounted a familiar group of heroes: A god who took on human form, an armored dynamo, a sentinel of liberty who spend years in suspended animation and Bob Brunner here, who can transform into an incredibly powerful hulking state. In a not-particularly-subtle ‘Take That’ to Marvel Comics, whose owner, Ron Perelman, owned Revlon Cosmetics, the control-freak villain that the heroes fought to free themselves from was “Lord Nevlor”, who imprisons all unlicensed heroes.
The 90s were not a subtle time.
This week’s topic, Ten Supers Over Six Feet Tall, is all me, but feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra to suggest your own topic. You can also enjoy more Ten Things madness on Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because superhuman strength and size are the superhero equivalent of A-Postive blood type. Either way, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!