The game of corporate food mascots is always a dangerous place to expend your thought-energy.  Why do so many foods know they’re delicious, but have no taboo against cannibalism?  Why is Charlie the Tuna so obsessed with getting caught by Star-Kist, a situation which WILL LEAD TO HIS DEATH?  How exactly does The General know when you’re at the lowest point a human can ever be?  But perhaps the most existentially disturbing question of all is one of anatomy: Does the consciousness of the being we know as Kool-Aid Man reside in his CONTAINER, the glass pitcher that crashes through walls, or does it lie in the delicious liquid itself?  Would he still be Kool-Aid Man if he were in a can, or a puddle, or the tank of your car?  If not, what would happen if his pitcher were empty?  It’s a truly fascinating train of thought which leads us to today’s epistomological query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”usually might posit a guess here, but… I got nothin’, asking: Is Kool-Aid Man the pitcher or the liquid within the pitcher?

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About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

3 Comments

  1. Robert Hulshof-Schmidt on

    The answer, of course, is “yes.” The Kool-Aid is the animating, essence, the essential being of Kool-Aid Man. It must, however, be placed in an appropriate totem. In a simple plastic container, the essence may be dormant. In the wrong vessel, such as a Woodsy Owl (TM) cookie jar, madness could ensue.

  2. Daniel Langsdale on

    Is Frosty the Snowman the snow or the hat?

    It’s the magical intersection of both Kool-Aid content and anthropomorphic pitcher container that make Kool-Aid Man.

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