I think the part of ‘Riverdale’ that is least believable is the thought of Zack and/or Cody eating an enormous pile of hamburgers.  That kid is totally a macrobiotic vegan diet kinda guy, and while that’s fine, it doesn’t feel like authentic Forsyth P. Jones, whose ability to put away food borders on the superhuman.  Indeed, were it the Marvel Universe, I’d say he could be a mutant with the ability to transform calories directly into awesome, all the while maintaining his dude-version-of-Olive-Oyl physique.  The show’s still a huge success, though, so my concerns aren’t apparently shared by viewers, but it at least brings us to today’s genetically superior query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) thinks that there’s something fishy about the way Barney Stinson always looks perfect in photographs, asking: What character with unexpected abilities could be a mutant in your mind?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Daniel Langsdale on

    Arthur Fonzarelli with his uncanny knack for operating electronics with a knock.

    Indiana Jones with his head that magnetizes to hats.

    Gleek the monkey with his ability to manifest a bucket from thin air

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