As an aficionado (though hardly an expert, since nearly all my knowledge came from old Marvel Comics) of 70s pop culture kung-fu, I was quite amused by the sorta-hidden joke in the movie ‘Kung Fu Panda’:  Each of the members of the Furious Five represents a traditional martial arts style: Crane, Mantis, Monkey, Snake, and Tiger.  It’s kind of a shame that there isn’t a Panda Style, as I think I might be good at it.  I’ve got a build similar to Po’s, after all, and my Jack Black impersonation is strong.  Still, the realization brings to mind a few questions: What would Armadillo style combat consist of?  How might you incorporate the Nuthatch into your battle stances?  Indeed, the question of who could ever master the deadly Texas Prairie Chicken style is quite the quandary, which leads to today’s ancient, secret query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) would probably enjoy starting the super-dangerous Diplodocus-style method of combat, requiring massive girth and a teensy brain, asking: For which creature would you name your hypothetical signature kung-fu style?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


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