25 years ago, a floating head told a neurotic robot to kidnap some adolescents…  But who else might have fit that bill?  Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Teenagers With Attitude!

Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and that strange new kid in town who always wears green, Presents:




Known to his fans and, honestly, to himself as ‘The Rad Teen Wonder’, Dave Whelan uses his powers of strength, durability, flight and super-speed and other powers that come and go to fight for what’s right. Since he’s still in high school, that tends to make things very complicated. (One of his other common aliases is “That dude who fought that guy in the caf that one time.”)


The world of Earth-982 is different from the mainstream Marvel reality in that, while it takes place mostly in the present day, Spider-Man and the first wave of Marvels have been active for a couple of decades. May “Mayday” Parker developed powers much like daddy’s after turning fifteen, picking up Dad’s old costume to fight against a new Green Goblin. Her parents were initially very much NOT on board, but warmed to the idea of a super-daughter as her career progressed.


Born a mutant, Christian Cord had the ability to generate blasts of ultraviolet light from his body. As a student at the Xavier Institute, he fell in with a bad crowd and became part of Quentin Quire’s Omega Gang. Depowered when The Scarlet Witch altered reality, Christian lost his Radian powers, but took up a modified version of the Torpedo armor to join with other now-powerless mutants as a team of New Warriors.


After Spider-Man was forced to take on four different aliases to avoid the law, those costumes and mantles passed on to new heroes. Johnny Gallo’s mutant power of super-agility, reflexes and aim made him a perfect fit for the Ricochet identity, allowing him to join with other heroes as The Slingers. He didn’t quit when the team disbanded, joining the group known as The Loners and even making it into Avengers Academy before reuniting with his fellow Slingers.


In training to be a professional hero, Ochaco Uraraka’s power (called a “quirk” in the lexicon of ‘My Hero Academia’) is the ability to manipulate gravity. Her armor is designed to offset the side-effects of power usage, and she is one of the more capable members of her class, focusing on rescue efforts but not neglecting her combat training.


The daughter of Thor and Asgardian warrior Sif, Torunn Thorsdóttir and the other children of The Avengers were taken to a hidden refuge in the Arctic by Iron Man after their parents perished in battle with Ultron. With the help of The Vision and the elderly Tony Stark, they come together as the Next Avengers to battle Ultron, with Torunn tearing him in half and hurling part of him into deep space, nearly dying in the process.

Of course, her father IS a god…


Super-strong, super-agile and super-talented, Mira Choudhury is one of the star students of Toyo Harada’s Eggbreaker program. Appointed as the leader of the feckless B-Squad, she tries to whip them into shape, only to be dragged into their renegade nonsense. She and fellow Harbinger Anvil are secretly in love with one another, but something something unrequited arrrrgh!


After witnessing the genesis of the Incredible Hulk, Rick Jones helped to assemble The Avengers in their first appearance, which introduced him to Captain America. Bearing a strong resemblance to the fallen Bucky Barnes, Rick helped Cap to acclimate to the new decade, while Captain America trained him in combat. Rick very briefly took on Bucky’s costume, but gave up the role when his mentor got cold feet, refusing to lose another partner in combat. Rick then went on to sidekick for ROM, two different Captains Marvel, The Hulk again and became no fewer than THREE different gamma-powered monstrosities.

Rick gets around, is what I’m saying.


With the power to manipulate her pheromones and influence/control the minds of those around her, she hasn’t been entirely successful in her heroic efforts. After being rejected by the Teen Titans for her difficult-to-use powers and general problematic nature, she briefly became a villain, fighting for Circe, then reformed enough to be an associate member of Young Justice during their battle for Zandia. Given the amount of panel space dedicated to her pneumatic curvature, I hope that her name is not literal.


When the manipulations of Kang (or one of him, anyway) caused Iron Man to turn on The Avengers, he went on a murderous rampage for reasons that were never entirely clear. Since it was revealed that Tony had been unknowingly under Kang’s sway for nearly the entirety of his career, #TimeTravelShenanigans allowed the heroes to snatch a teenage Stark from the past, outfitting him with a new, powerful and hideous armor to fight his elder self. When Iron Man and the Avengers were lost in battle with Onslaught, he was recreated on Counter-Earth as an adult, with an ultra-complicated retcon to explain his complete memories, how it had never been Kang at all and that Teen Tony would never be spoken of again…

…well, except by me, obviously.

This week’s Ten Things topic is all me, but feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra to suggest your own Ten Things madness on Twitter or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, if only because Spider-Man just made another billion dollars, my friends. Either way, the comments section is below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!

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About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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