With Mr. Mark Thackeray as our example, we are all going to observe certain courtesies in this classroom.  Spoilerites will be properly addressed as Mr., Ms. or their honorific of choice.  And you will refer to today’s list of supers as “Sir”, with love.  Welcome to Ten Things: Ten Super Sirs!

Whooshman-Bicarbonate Films, in conjunction with An Amateur Comics Historian and Sidney Poitier, Presents:

TEN THINGS: TEN SUPER SIRS!

10) SIR LASER-LOT

Ten Super Sirs!
I wasn’t ever into Masters Of The Universe in the 1980s.  I was a G.I. Joe kid, and like The Sharks and The Jets, we Joes felt we had nothing in common with the He-Mans, even though the only real difference is (literally) a matter of scale.  One kid who was into He-Man, though, was young Geoff Johns, who created Sir Laser-Lot in grade school, then grew up to be one of the head honchos at modern DC Comics.  As an adult, Geoff made sure his childhood creation made it into comics under his watch, even getting a MotU action figure of his own.

As for my thoughts, there are reasons to criticize Johns’ writing, but…  that is a really AMAZING name!

9) SIR FALCON


The inheritor of a familial identity passed from generation to generation like The Phantom, Sir Falcon is a minor Australian hero whose real name may or may not be “Knight.”  That’s a little bit on the nose, I’d say, so I hope it’s just a clever alias.  Either way, he was repackaged for Brazilian audiences as Aguia Negra, the Black Falcon, and is just as obscure in Portuguese as he is in English.

8) SIR ROLAND


An empty suit of armor with an overdeveloped sense of justice and a majordomo called Smart Ogre (who is a smart ogre, natch) to help keep him out of trouble.  Existing in a world of knights and wizards and castles and such, he does his thing in an entertaining manner, even if there’s literally no head on his shoulders…

It’s also fun to sing his name in the Monty Python song: “Brave Sir Roland ran awaaay!  Bravely ran away, awaaaaay!”

7) SIR STEEL

Some confusion surrounds the World War I era hero known as Sir Steel, a founding member of Freedom’s Five with the original Union Jack and a couple of like-minded heroes.  Originally called Sir Hugh Fitzwilliam Dare, he came into possession of an enchanted suit of armor that he used to fight evil and the occasional alien invasion.  A different, later story calls him Ned Chapel, and reveals that he died in a terrible flu epidemic in 1919, but whether they’re two separate men, one man with two aliases or the after-effects of some universal schism is as yet unrevealed…

6) SIR SOLOMON GRUNDY


In an alternate anti-matter universe where good is evil, up is down, short is long and Superman is evil, Sir Solomon Grundy was born of the white cliffs of Dover.  Joining the Justice Underground, under the leadership of an alternate Riddler (known as The Quizmaster and/or Enigma), he fought to overthrow the tyranny of the Crime Syndicate of Amerika…

5) SIR RAM


“Evolved” into a humanoid state by Herbert Wyndham, The High Evolutionary, Sir Ram was once just a sheep, but became a loyal Knight of Wundagore.  Thanks to his beast/human hybrid nature, he has superhuman strength and speed, as well as skill with a sword.  When the Evolutionary’s creations turned on him, Sir Ram remained on his side, even fetching The Incredible Hulk to assist with the uprising…

4) SIR OMPHALOS


One of the many protectors of Heropa, working under the command of one Major Patriot, Sir Omphalos (known also as The Big O, which I think means he’s an anime fan) is pretty impressive.

For those wondering, an omphalos is a stone artifact or the center/hub of a wheel, and literally means “navel”.  In practice, though, the relics that bear the name may refer to anatomy somewhat lower on the body…

3) SIR IVAN OF ZANDAR


A legitimate knight from the 13th Century, Ivan is the Dino Charge Gold Ranger.  Centuries ago, he battled a creature called Fury, which absorbed him and carried him for centuries while he sought the legendary Energems of power.  When the Dino Charge Rangers emerged in the 21st Century, Fury began using Ivan’s own powers to fight them, leading him to escape and become the Sixth Ranger of the Dino Charge team.

Though a Gold ranger, his American costume is distractingly tan in color, unlike his gold lamé Super Sentai counterpart, making it really obvious when the shift from Japanese footage to America takes place…

2) SIR WEDNESDAY


One of seven elite assassins, one coded for each day of the week, Sir Wednesday is amazingly agile for one of his girth.  True to the luchador mask and championship belt he wears, Sir Wednesday utilizes wrestling moves in battle, and is one of the more amazing parts of ‘Carpe Diem’.

To be honest, the writers had me when Sir Monday died repeatedly because everybody hates Mondays…

1) SIR TRISTAN


When King Arthur revived from his cairn on the Salisbury Plain in the year 3000, he brought with him the returned threat of Morgan le Fay and caused his legendary knights to be reborn as well.  Tristan awakened in the body of a woman named Amber March, who had some issues adjusting to being a woman.  This got even worse when her legendary love, Isolde, was also reincarnated in a female body, giving Morgan an edge to manipulate her…

This week’s ‘Ten Super Sirs’ is all me, but feel free to follow along @MightyKingCobra and suggest your own Ten Things topics on Twitter, or check out the full Twitter archive here! As with any set of like items, these aren’t meant to be hard and fast or absolutely complete, but with Arthurian knights and the like being waaaay out of vogue, you’ll be hard-pressed to find more…

Either way, the comments section is Below for just such an emergency, but, as always: Please, no wagering!

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About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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