Thanks to reruns on BBC America, I’ve had the opportunity to run into first season episodes of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ and realize just how desperately in need of a beard Will Riker was.  Not just because he kind of resembled Kirk without facial hair, but also because of the authority and dignity that he gained with his boyish lower face squared off.  Of course, I had forgotten that Geordi also had a beard at a couple of points during the run of TNG, which was less successful for me (it clashed) with his visor, but it did make me think who else needs cool facial hair.  Batman?  Jonny Quest?  The Wonder Twins?  The mind boggles, leading to today’s well-groomed query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) really wants to see the Legion’s Invisible Kid II with a full beard that shares the white stripe of his hair, asking: What fictional character is, in your eyes, most in need of a beard?

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

5 Comments

  1. Do I count as a fictional character? Because I’m not that far off from 40 (just about a year and a half, yeesh) and I still can’t grow one properly. I want my evil Mirror Universe goatee, dangit!!

    I think Hal Jordan needs a beard. I’ve seen some pretty decent fan art of a bearded Hal, and it suited him. It made him look more like the jerk we all know he is.

    • Not trying to be confrontational because I’m asking from ignorance, but what made Hal Jordan such a jerk? And why are there so many Green Lanterns from Earth?

      • The short answers are:

        1. Because in trying to make him into Tom Cruise from ‘Top Gun’, DC neglected to give him any other character and pushed the maverick hothead thing way too far.

        2. Because people kept trying to improve/replace Hal, only to find that Guy/John/Kyle was actually more interesting, leading to the new characters sticking around even after their particular role elapsed.

  2. Daniel Langsdale on

    I’m surprised that we’ve never had a Doctor Who with a beard. Pertwee or P. Cap. could have pulled one off best, I think.

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