8) ZACK MORRIS

 

If we take ‘Saved By The Bell’ at face value (which no one in the world should ever do, thanks to a liberal use of negative continuity and the power of the status quo), it’s the story of a young sociopath and gambling addict who learns to become a better person and stop using his time-altering powers for personal gain. Though usually merely a device to allow him to deliver commentary directly to the audience, Zack’s Time Out power is used at least once in story-altering ways, allowing him to dodge a punch from Slater. It’s really sort of a shame that he wished Miss Bliss into a cornfield when he transported his entire school from Indiana to sunny California…

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

2 Comments

  1. Daniel Langsdale on

    Honorable Mention: Max Fielder from the movie Modern Problems, as portrayed by Chevy Chase. From IMDB:
    “Air traffic controller Max Fiedler is unhappy with his career and his second marriage. An exposure to toxic waste gives him the power of telekinesis. He comes to a crossroads at a beachhouse he shares with his wife, his ex, and a voodoo priestess.”

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