One of the things that has plagued me throughout my life is patchy facial hair.  Now that I’m in my forties, I get to combine that with bristling gray hairs that are equally annoying, no matter how finely I comb stuff, making me lament not being Tom Selleck, circa 1983.  Magnum PI had the most perfect moustache of all, to the point where any Selleck roles without his trademark face-fuzz make him unrecognizable, much as Nick Offerman or Charlie Chaplin might be.  Heck, even Joaquin Phoenix is that much cooler with a ‘stache, as seen in ‘Her’, leading to today’s triple-blade query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) isn’t a fan of Johnny Depp, but the man can grow quite the moustache and goatee, asking: Who has the most perfect moustache of them all?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. While Tom Selleck is up there. No one can beat San Elliott’s magnificent mustache. It’s almost impossible to imagine him without one.

  2. Gomez Addams, in both the original TV series portrayed by John Astin (it compliments his trademark creepy grin quite well) and in the later movie reboots portrayed by Raul Julia. Both are quite different looks, but I think they are equally awesome.

  3. Tom Selleck is definitely one of the top contenders. I’d like to add Hulk Hogan to the list of heavy hitters of mustache game.

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