3) THE PHONE RANGER


A denizen of the Marvel Universe, A.G. Bell is a joke character who keeps popping up over and over again, even though his first appearance had him killed by the vigilante Scourge.  Last seen around the time of the first superhero Civil War, The Phone Ranger is the joke hero who keeps on giving, although it is unknown whether his handset headgear actually functions as a telephonic device…

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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  1. Honorable Mention: The Ringer.

    Years before Lady Beyonce implored the rest of the world, former NASA engineer turned criminal Anthony Davis decided to put a ring on it. Jealous of Kyle (Nightwing) Richmond, Davis created a suit of armor utilizing weaponized rings, and tried to rob Richmond but failed, losing several teeth in the process. After serving time, and having his teeth repaired, he was forcibly recruited by the Beetle who sent Davis after Spider-Man. He failed again and Spidey even re-broke his teeth.

    The Ringer was one of Scourge’s victims in the Bar With No Name, although he was secretly resurrected as a cyborg by AIM, and his wife later Leila took on the Ringer identity to seek revenge on Beetle on Spider-Man, as one of Spidey’s Lethal Foes.

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