Okay, here’s something important you need to know: Muppets are real, they have jobs and eat food and hang out at the drugstore, and Rodrigo will slap the taste out of your mouth if you try to tell him different.  (Seriously, I made that mistake once and I still can’t feel the left side of my face.)  I don’t blame him, there are a few characters that I am so attached to that I cannot believe they’re fictional: V.I.N.Cent from ‘The Black Hole’, the protagonists of ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ (for better or worse), even R2-D2.  Of course, I once knew a kid who went to great lengths to tell everyone that Highlanders are real and that he was one, so I try not to go overboard, leading to today’s metafictional query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) figures that Muppets would make great doctors, as long as they kept up their Scotchgarding, asking: Which not-real character is most likely to make you say “I cannot believe they’re fictional”?

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

3 Comments

  1. None of them, because I firmly believe in the concept of a Multiverse where everything exists somewhere in some other reality. Everything from a world where a rabbit and duck outwit a hunter with a speech impediment to a world where giant nightmare tentacled old ones slumber awaiting the time they will bring about the end of everything.

    But then again, my sanity is questionable, so…

    Half joking aside, rather than pop culture characters, I have difficulty accepting that many creatures of myths, legends and folklore aren’t real. To clarify, this doesn’t mean I am adamant that creatures like Bigfoot or the Wolpertinger or a Mermaid exist, but I certainly believe something similar to many of these creatures may have existed at some point. Look at the history of science, such as when dinosaur fossils were unearthed, and how many “established” dinosaurs ended up being incorrect. Then look at the sheer number of KNOWN extinct species, like the Dodo or the Moa. I couldn’t even begin to decide which myths or legends have truth in them, but I cannot discount the idea that maybe some of them were more true than we realize. Maybe dragons were just dinosaurs that survived, or maybe there really was a deformed/mutant beast that gave rise to the legends of the minotaur or the chimera. Maybe the yeti or bigfoot was an endangered species of ape. I just cannot discount the possibility that there is some truth in at least some legends.

  2. Its hard to say, there are many but most of the time its those that blur the line between real and fiction, like pro wrestlers and semi-historical people in old stories and myths. Video game characters can also feel very real, because you spend so much time with them and there’s that tangible element of control.

  3. Definitely The Swedish Chef. I identify with him on such a level that it’s just too weird to think of him as a fictional character.

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