Top Five

Top Five is a show where the hosts categorize, rank, compare, and stratify everything… from cars to gadgets to people and movies. From stuff that is hot, and things that are not nearly as interesting – it’s Top Five.

This week, we flip through the Monster Manual to find our favorite D&D Monsters.

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Stephen Schleicher began his career writing for the Digital Media Online community of sites, including Digital Producer and Creative Mac covering all aspects of the digital content creation industry. He then moved on to consumer technology, and began the Coolness Roundup podcast. A writing fool, Stephen has freelanced for Sci-Fi Channel's Technology Blog, and Gizmodo. Still longing for the good ol' days, Stephen launched Major Spoilers in July 2006, because he is a glutton for punishment. You can follow him on Twitter @MajorSpoilers and tell him your darkest secrets...


  1. not listened yet but my own top five.

    5 The Rust monster. a monster made solely to screw pc’s in plate mail by the first gms the first grudge monster

    4 Koblods are they dogs, baby dragons, both? who cares… they have traps and a willingness to use them

    3 The Orc from the man-smart warlord to the strange shaman to the dumb as rocks ones classic evil in a green bag

    2 Beholders, we see what you did there, super smart magic blasters

    1 Dragons the godfather’s the big bad’s the game is named after them, end of.

    also rans the gith, Mind flayers, aboeth, flump and umber hulks / their neogi Masters

  2. Yes! I don’t know if it was my write-in suggestion or someone else’s, but I’ve been waiting to hear this Top 5 for like 8 months. I spent a large portion of my summer staring at dirt and bugs in a microscope and Top 5 ear-tertained me through the visual drudgery. My top 5 have pretty much been covered, but that’s because they’re the best.

    5.dragon – This one is undeniable. You have your smart dragons. Your servant dragons. Your god dragons. Your shape changing dragons. All good.

    4.beholder – It’s not just the eyes. Yes, they’re formidable enemies and so on, but how creepy is their weird inter-eye skin. They always look like someone peeled an old peach and then smeared it with roadkill.

    3. lich – These guys/gals are scary because of what they represent, which is that a hunger for power and hiding of your heart will turn you into a walking dead woman/man.

    2. goblin – classic. I need not explain for one cannot account for the vagaries of the heart.

    1. properly creepy human wizard – I feel like you can get the richest and most compelling backstory with a human and all of the extra information is what makes a monster, for me.

  3. Frederick Pagliarulo Jr. (a.k.a. Darth Macho) on

    Such a great episode! It was like my two favorite podcasts, Critical Hit and Top Five rolled into one!

    One gripe I do have with the episode is that you guys no-sold Matthew’s great joke about George Lucas wanting to use the Gelatinous Cube as a Jedi. That was both clever and funny. Kudos for that joke.

    My history of playing D&D is as follows:
    AD&D: Owned all the books, played as DM for only one or two players. Ignored most of the rules.
    2nd Edition: Owned some books, but never played.
    3rd/3.5 Edition: Bought the basic set but gave up during character building stage.
    4th Edition: Stumbled upon Critical Hit, got hooked, subscribed to Insider and played entirely without books, and had a campaign that reached about 15th level.
    5th Edition: Own every book, but haven’t gotten the group together since July 2015. Lots of ideas, so I hope to play soon.

    Anyway, here’s my list:

    5. Githyanki: They are badass skeletal space pirates that sometimes ride dragons and hunt mind flayers. How can you not love that?
    4, Goblinoids: I love all three types, Goblins, Hobgoblins, and Bugbears, and think they can be fit into any campaign easily.
    3. Tieflings: I had a whole arc revolved around these sexy devil people in my 4e campaign and they worked so well I can’t wait to use them again.
    2, Drow: I’ve always found these spidery dark elves to be fascinating, even if they have been overplayed in the Forgotten Realms setting.
    1. Yuan-ti: I’ve always loved these snake people, so I built my first 5e campaign around them, but I haven’t gotten the group together for over a year. I hope to revive the campaign since getting Volo’s Guide because they really fleshed them out in that book.

    Apparently I like humanoid monsters best, probably because they have cultures that can be really delved into which gives them more personality.

    That was great. I hope you guys do a Top 5 Worst D&D monsters too!

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