This weekend, my daughter wanted to see something scary, eventually deciding on a double feature of ‘Night Of The Living Dead’ and ‘The Mist.’  She was totally into Romero’s classic, but the ending left her shouting “Are you KIDDING me?”, even though she appreciated the artistic intent of the bleakness.  The ending of ‘The Mist’, on the other hand, left her dismissive, pointing out that the terrible ending makes her not like the main character anymore, and that she didn’t believe the guys with flamethrowers were gonna take out the giant dinosaur-thing seen a few minutes earlier.  Either way, it was one of her first experiences with movies that are conceptually good but have no idea how to end, leading to today’s anti-climactic query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) reminds you that ‘Watchmen’, the story of a gritty, down-to-earth world, ends with a giant squid teleported into New York City to mimic an alien invasion, asking: Which great story has the WORST ending?

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

5 Comments

  1. Seven Samurai is a real downer. Many of the likable people end up dead and even in the end after the battle, the eldest samurai announces: “No, they won. We lost” while watching the farmers return to their field work.

  2. My obvious answer is the film adaptation of I Am Legend.

    My obnoxious answer is a reference to Rodrigo’s beloved Mystery Men: great ending right up until the credits.

    My more obscure answer is the vidja game Psi-Ops: the Mindgate Conspiracy. You play an amnesiac whose mind is slowly putting itself back together. You beat the big bad, helicopters containing your allies descend upon the arena, then the protagonist recovers a memory that the allies are evil too and starts running from them, end of game. This game has great creative cruelty potential and tutorials featuring a mentor with a different haircut every time (ranging from big afro to the Don King)… and it ends with an awkward sequel hook jammed in at the last second.

  3. The finale of “Forever Knight”. Although it was left open to interpretation whether Nick dies or not, many of the cast and crew have implied he does die. Seems a waste, making the whole struggle he went through over the course of the series seem pointless when he just gives up that easily.

  4. Using M. Night. Shamaboutyalastmovie seems kind of like cheating, but I thought that Unbreakable was really a very good film. And then the ending happens. ugh.

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