Let’s be honest: Travel is a huge pain in the tuchus.  Public transportation is gross, owning a car is expensive, and while young folk may have a lot of fun on a bicycle, hills are always gonna be a problem.  Obviously, then, the only possible answer is super-powers!  (Because why not?)  Of course, this leads to additional issues, as well as today’s transportational query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) has long leaned towards the super-speed, but that sounds like a lot of exercise, asking: Which would you rather have: Super-Speed or Teleportation?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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7 Comments

  1. March 14, 2016 at 11:28 am — Reply

    If super speed includes fast thinking like The Flash, then easily that one. It makes boring tasks like house cleaning so much faster and I still can get around the globe in few seconds.

  2. Foolsmask
    March 14, 2016 at 11:40 am — Reply

    Once you have Flash level speed, and assuming it comes with the stamina/ability to run as far and as fast as he does, there almost isn’t any difference between super-speed and teleportation. Now if we eliminate the ability to get through doors by vibrating out of phase, then teleportation would get an up vote.

    So I choose teleportation as a travel power but super-speed is far more useful in the day-to-day category.

  3. Praion
    March 14, 2016 at 11:57 am — Reply

    Super-Speed. It gives you a workout. Teleportation makes you lazy.

  4. Paul
    March 14, 2016 at 12:07 pm — Reply

    It depends wholly on the constraints of each power.
    With speed, what stamina (and hence range) and post-use downtime is there? Can you do it carrying your groceries?
    With teleportation can you do it without knowing the exact layout and location of the destination? What if you BAMF into a chair and hurt yourself?

  5. DamienR
    March 14, 2016 at 1:44 pm — Reply

    Super-speed.

    Because, in the words of a great man:

    “Have you got some reason to have my atoms scattered all over space, boy?”

  6. March 14, 2016 at 3:55 pm — Reply

    I’m already a big couch potato, so I can only imagine the giant lump I’d turn into if I could just teleport everywhere. For the sake of my health, I’d have to take super speed.

  7. Loudmouth Takashi Miike
    March 14, 2016 at 7:20 pm — Reply

    The Flash makes a great case for superspeed. I don’t think there’s a similar superhero for teleportation. Maybe Spiral.

    A nice feature of teleportation is that it is not necessarily restricted to the user. A further improvement would be the user would not be required to teleport, only what the user wants to be teleported. This would be similar to telekinesis but only the kinetic powers like moving objects but not any restraining telekinetic ability such as pinning a body to the ground. If telekinesis is a subset of this unrestricted teleportation then, even flight is possible.

    What about stamina aspects? Consider a wave of water, it is reasonable to assume that a teleporter could teleport the wave at a given moment in time. But what if teleportation could be continuous. Imagine that a teleporter is surrounded by many attackers. As each attacker approaches they notice that their attacks never reach the teleporter. This teleportation barrier could have a radius of 10 meters or 10 millimeters.

    What about the strength of teleporting? Couldn’t a superteleporter move an entire planet or sun? Why would moving an apple two inches or two miles be any different energy-wise? Why would moving an apple two inches or a sun two inches any different energy-wise? Using a physics-based argument that the amount of force necessary is different, totally ignores that this is teleportation not telekinesis. The energy to create the teleport may be the same no matter the distance, mass, etc.

    What about the precision of teleporting? Couldn’t a superteleporter move a bank vault into the same space? For instance, the teleporter is in the bank’s parking lot. Yes, the teleporter could just teleport into the bank’s vault. But what if the teleporter teleports the vault into/onto the parking lot such that the teleporter is inside the vault. The purpose of this would be for those the-grass-is-always-greener moments. What if you wanted a better position in a movie theater but your favorite position is already taken? Well, just reorient the entire space such that your current seat is in the desired position.

    Now comes for the final power… A superteleporter could reorient all spacetime. My half-assembled thought is that if space can be continuously moved and with very fine precision of the coordination of those objects then why not assume that those observer effects in quantum physics can now be broken. And then viola, screwing of spacetime, QED, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

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