This week, the halls of Stately Spoilers Manor have echoed with the tortured howls of Editor-In-Chief Stephen, gnashing his teeth and raging against the plans to remake ‘Big Trouble In Little China.’  (The preceding sentence is an exaggeration for dramatic effect, one of the keys to Quality Literature!)  I feel Stephen’s pain, though, as reports keep saying that ‘The Black Hole’ is due for a big-budget rebooting, as yet unseen, and I was one of the suckers who thought that a live-action G.I. Joe film sounded like a good idea.  Fortunately, a few of my other fave-raves are probably never going to make a comeback in today’s film-making world.  The uncouth, racially-charged humor of ‘Blazing Saddles’ seems to defy remaking, and nobody really wants to know what happened to Veruca Salt after her adventures in Willy Wonka’s furnace-room.  Even if they DO bring back V.I.N.Cent and friends in a big-dumb shoot-em-up with Johnny Knoxville, I know we’ll always have motion-controlled miniature special effects, which leads us to today’s reimagined query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) is quite certain that nearly all of Mel Brooks’ best work is out the window, as well as the exquisite madness that is ‘Doctor Strangelove’, asking: Which of your favorite pop-culture experiences are you happy to know simply CANNOT get a remake?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

Previous post

[Sneak Peek] The Disciples #1

Next post

[Movies] Yet another Ant-Man trailer is here

9 Comments

  1. Jeffrey Corbello
    June 5, 2015 at 11:37 am — Reply

    They have made prequels and now sequels. They made special editions and special, special, uber editions. But I am confident they will not remake Star Wars.

  2. June 5, 2015 at 11:53 am — Reply

    Its pretty hard to tell, because EVERYTHING is getting a remake. I can think some of our domestic stuff but nothing Hollywood or other American companies have made, or Japanese for that matter.

  3. Alisha
    June 5, 2015 at 12:04 pm — Reply

    I still think live-action G.I. Joe would be great under the right creative team.

    While it has already been technically remade, I’m so very glad Doctor Who won’t be remade again anytime soon. But at the same time, I wouldn’t be against a remake of the remake that featured the eccentric human inventor Dr. Who.

  4. DamienR
    June 5, 2015 at 12:34 pm — Reply

    I also hope that all of Mr. Brooks’ works are left untouched (even if The Producers was a remake of a play which was a remake of a movie..). There’s something about his style which jsut works for the time, place and cast he used. To remake it would be almost… irreverent…

    Speaking of which – (bows head) Randolph Scott.

    I have a soft spot for TV detective shows of bygone eras (Mannix, Cannon, Rockford, Quincy, Simon & Simon, Magnum, Fall Guy and the like) and apart from recent attempts at Starksy & Hutch, Equalizer and Ironside, so far the bulk of them seem to be safe. Fingers crossed!

  5. Chris
    June 5, 2015 at 12:45 pm — Reply

    Could they do Short Circuit today? I’m pretty sure having a white guy play a middle eastener wouldn’t go over well.

  6. AED
    June 5, 2015 at 4:52 pm — Reply

    Agreed anything by Mel Brooks!

  7. June 5, 2015 at 11:12 pm — Reply

    Off the top of my head, the Bill & Ted movies. They’re so ingrained in their time period and with the actors, remaking it would be impossible without reinterpreting it to the point of being unrecognizable. Which is why I’m hyped about the third movie, featuring a much older Bill and Ted, if it ever gets made.

    I’d have to agree that most of Mel Brooks’ works are safe (although the remake of the Producers was good). I just can’t see Blazing Saddles being made nowadays, for a multitude of reasons.

  8. Belmont
    June 7, 2015 at 6:33 pm — Reply

    For the time I was believing that Jem & the Holograms,(yes back in the day to now I was a closet Jem fan, it was almost an extension in someways to M.T.V. back in the day), wouldn’t be picked-up, but I was wrong. And from the trailer I’ve seen it’s goin’ for the box office bomb of the year, Rotten Tomatoes is going to have a field day with this one.
    The other was Mad Max, Haven’t seen the new one Fury Road yet but I’ve had friends say it was good and I can accept that Mel Gibson isn’t Max cause it gets to the point where the passing of the torch is called for…
    I’m not a big fan of the Crock,(Smell what the Crock is cookin Phew), and him anywhere near a remake of Big Trouble in Little China is not a good sign, (Doom, Walkin’ Tall, are a few examples)

    Filmation’s Ghostbusters, (not to be confused with “The Real Ghostbusters)
    Thundercats, (please let it go no further than developmental hell at the moment cause Hollywood will but their dark spin on it)
    Silverhawks
    M.A.S.K(Mobile Armored Strike Kommand) I’m worried cause it’s in Hasbro’s cellar after they bought out Kenner

    Most of the Hanna-Barbera Scooby clones with the exception of Jose & the PussyCats. (They gave it movie treatment bomb)

    Can’t say any DC characters because of the Direct to DVD market, with the exception of the Batman 66 series

    Mack Bolan, (thankful that Hollywood is too PC to handle that character and Stony Man Farm, Able Team & Phoenix Force)

    The Spider from the 1940’s Pulp and reprinted by Garisol, (safe there cause the Shadow and Doc Savage took the Hollywood bullet)
    Vampire Hunter D
    Dino Riders, (Tyco, now owned by Hasbro in the cellar)
    Gunsmith Cats
    Cadillacs & Dinosaurs
    Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future
    Inhumanoids (Hasbro so I begin to fear)
    Bravestarr
    She-Ra
    WildC.A.T.S.
    Heathcliff, (safe there cause of the Garfield Bomb)
    Trigun
    Darkwing Duck, (safe there cause of Howard the Duck)

    Streethawk
    Sledgehammer
    Knight Rider, (TV movies don’t count in my book)
    Darkstalkers aka Night Warriors
    Isis
    M*A*S*H
    All in the Family, (Hollywood wouldn’t touch that with a PC 10 meter pole)

    History of the World Part 1, (Mel Brooks nuff said….)
    Most everything else done by Mel Brooks
    Flash Gordon,(Thought early Hollywood did well with this in the 80’s they’d f.u.b.a.r it now like Total Recall)

    Video Games
    Castlevania
    Castle Wolfenstein

    That just about does that cause I’ve got more from the annuls of my collection but I’d hate go over. was going to list more video games then a tv trailer for Pixels came up on the TV and blew out Donkey Kong, Pacman, and possible just about every other early video game I enjoyed….

You know you have something to say, say it in the comment section