Sometimes, in the wee hours of the night, strange things occur to me.  Like how Hal Jordan’s over-the-top attitude would be more palatable if it were his *mother* who died in a fighter-jet crash, or how Taylor Swift would look awesome with a full sleeve tattoo.  (It would certainly make her Pretty Pretty Princess routine less saccharine and twee…)  These kind of thoughts are what George Carlin called “the things that kept me out of the really good schools”, but they’re also wonderful to consider.  Would Rodrigo has disliked ‘Moulin Rouge’ as much if it weren’t a jukebox musical?  Would Zach still love ‘Breaking Bad’ if Heisenberg were played by Bob Newhart?  Would ‘Gotham’ work better is Jada Pinkett-Smith’s name weren’t frickin’ Fish Mooney?  The slightest change can have massive consequences, as Jeff Goldblum will tell you, but those same alterations can also lead us to today’s theoretical query…

]The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) suspects that ‘The Phantom Menace’ without Jar-Jar Binks might have some appeal to many, asking: Is there one single change that you think could make you interested in something you’re otherwise put off by?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Does a species count rather than a specific character? Because if any of those hunting shows that air in the wee hours of the morning or on certain cable channels were instead hunting Ewoks instead of deer/fish/ducks/etc, I’d watch them in a heartbeat.

    I’d also buy more Marvel comics (which I’m not put off by so much as sick of all the mega events) if they gave 616 Spidey the mecha/ship Leopardon/Marveller from TOEI’s Spider-Man. They could retcon it if they had to, making it a gift from some aliens Spidey saved or a creation of Tony Stark or something.

    I’d also watch “Twilight” if they had Blade or Buffy show up.

  2. Doctor Dinosaur on

    I might get into “”Wrestling””, if they incorporated even more humour into the whole thing and had it be a sketch-show with a few body slams, acrobatics and chair smashing stunts.

    It’s so close.. but it still wants to be spectacle more than it wants to be witty.

    • This is why I miss some of the characters and gimmicks they had in wresting in the late 90’s/early 2000’s. I miss wrestling characters like Mick Foley’s Mankind when he became more silly crazy rather than “tortured” crazy.

  3. I would delete the final “B-4” scenes from Star Trek: Nemesis and end the movie after the memorial scene. The way it was filmed, with Data’s personality beginning to take over B-4’s functions entirely negated and cheapened Data’s sacrifice, and rendered the entire final act of the movie meaningless. Given that this was the final Next Gen movie – and it had been a pretty darned good movie up until that point – the bringing back of Data was entirely pointless. It felt like something that had been added on to the end of the movie without any thought, like something suggested by a focus group, or a brain-dead committee.

  4. What if Indiana Jones liked cowboy clothes? It would be ruinous.

    What if Torq liked donuts instead of funnel cakes?

    An odd real change that bugged me to no end: changing Starbuck from male to female. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because the original series was on in my formative years.

    What if Batman was afraid of butterflies instead of bats?

    The Dukes of Hazard opened their car doors to get into the General Longstreet?

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