With the upcoming ‘Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ film hinting at revisiting the iconic battle from “The Dark Knight Returns”, lots of people have been ruminating over the question of who would win a battle between DC’s biggest caped icons.  (One has super-speed, is invulnerable to all harm, and has laser vision, so naturally people are voting for the one with a cool car and a big checkbook.)  But those who think that Batman and Superman are one another’s nemeses (nemisises?) forget one thing: THEY’RE ON THE SAME SIDE.  Thus, in today’s query, we’re going to add a caveat that changes up the whole nature of the discussion, in the hopes that people will stop repeating the scurrilous claim that Batman is “just a normal human…”

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) would probably throw him up against an angry Doctor, or maybe The Brain, depending on my mood, asking: If you were to choose someone (who is NOT Superman, Batman himself or an alternate Superman or Batman) to defeat The Dark Knight, who would you pick and why?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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12 Comments

  1. August 24, 2014 at 1:18 pm — Reply

    It would have to be The Joker. I admit, odds are not in his favor, but aside from muscular guy in wrestling mask doing it once, hes the only one who’s beaten Batman even in some consistency every now and then. Any other villain or hero really has not succeeded once, because of invulnerable plot armor bestowed by popularity.

  2. Ian
    August 24, 2014 at 1:24 pm — Reply

    I’d love to see a matchup between Batman and the original Sloane Mr Terrific

  3. RAM_evilspaceknight
    August 24, 2014 at 1:48 pm — Reply

    He’s famous for having contingency plans for taking down everyone – even other heroes. The only way to beat him is to completely blindside him.
    Only one person has the knowledge, experience and resources to this.
    Alfred Pennyworth

    • Rob
      August 24, 2014 at 1:55 pm — Reply

      Ooh, that’s a smart answer, I like it.

    • August 24, 2014 at 3:28 pm — Reply

      NICELY HANDLED, VERUCA!

  4. August 24, 2014 at 4:38 pm — Reply

    I think G’nort could do it, but it would be one of those situations where it was a complete accident due to a series of unfortunate yet comical incidents.

    While he is a very skilled martial artist, an excellent detective and quick on his feet both mentally and physically as well as having access to some cool toys, at his core Batman is pretty much just a bully of questionable mental competence (anyone who thinks Batman is perfectly sane is sadly mistaken) who relies quite a bit on intimidation. So my thought is that you really need someone who could go toe to toe with Batman physically who is also equally crazy enough to not be intimidated, like former WWE wrestling character Mankind (as portrayed by Mick Foley).

  5. Kirby
    August 24, 2014 at 8:01 pm — Reply

    Brainiac 5 can deal with anything the Batman can throw at him. 12th level intellect, he knows what Batman’s usual tactics are, and while not highly trained in combat himself, can easily have a device on hand to neutralize the Caped Crusader.

  6. Arbor Day
    August 24, 2014 at 10:11 pm — Reply

    Aquaman, just to see a segment of the community’s head explode.

  7. Ghaleonx5z
    August 25, 2014 at 6:17 am — Reply

    Deathstroke, he’s beaten him before.

  8. Doctor Dinosaur
    August 25, 2014 at 9:09 am — Reply

    Playing into the whole proper planning and preparation. I’ve always suspected that Batman has a contingency plan for himself… The Bat-Family.

    He’d have to outsmart Barbara and Tim, outmove Cassandra and Jason and he couldn’t ask Alfred for advice, planning or preparation nor rely on Dick to improvise, get him out of bad situation and as emergency back-up.

    He wouldn’t have made it out of the gate without those people. He’d have been a bled out, dead guy in an arm-chair dressed as a veteran clutching a bell no one would have been there to hear.

  9. Hannah Jones
    August 25, 2014 at 5:43 pm — Reply

    The Hulk. Although, honestly, I’m pretty sure Batman could take him down if he could survive the initial rampage. I honestly just want to see how Bruce Banner would deal with the Bat-Verse.

    Although, come to think of it, Mr. Fixit might be able to give him a run for his money.

    • August 25, 2014 at 9:49 pm — Reply

      Since the events of DC vs Marvel were apparently at least partially canon in pre-DCnU DC due to the appearance of Access (the character with the power to teleport between the two universes and was charged with keeping them separate) in one of the monthly issues of Green Lantern, I’m curious if Batman might already have partial contingency files on the Marvel heroes involved in the crossover.

      I’m not arguing against your choices or anything, I just imagine if he already has some info about Hulk from the crossover, it might be an even more interesting fight than it would be if it were just Hulk against someone who had no idea who he was.

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