Yesterday, on the Twitter, our very own Chris Wilson, review snaker extraordinaire and all-around knockabout guy, posited a posit that shook the very foundations of Major Spoilers: Could Aquaman control C’thulhu?  Stephen, with his arcane knowledge of all things Lovecraft and pulp, insisted no, while I with my reverence for the world of comics, maintain that the math should work.  While I certainly understand the counter-argument Stephen threw at me (‘Aquaman can’t control people who live in houseboats!’), I think that the true measure of any theoretical is what makes for a better story afterwards, and for my money, the idea of Arthur Curry defending the entirety of reality with only his big rubbery head is a compelling one.  Thus, we must take our conflict to a higher authority: You, the Faithful Spoilerites, which brings us to today’s brain-powered query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) reminds the cynics among us that *Eric Cartman* was able to control C’thulhu, and since he’s in the public domain, that’s a canonical appearance, asking: Should Aquaman be able to telepathically control (or TRY to control) C’thulhu?

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

13 Comments

  1. As much as it makes an awesome idea I’m going to say no, because doesn’t the very witnessing of C’thulhu drive one insane? Plus in Justice League episode Terror Beyond, Aquaman couldn’t control some of the Lovecraftian horrors in that, so I don’t believe he could take on one of the big dogs.

    That being said, would I pay top dollar for this in comic book? You bet.

  2. He could try, but being as it’s Cthulhu, it should make Aquaman have a seizure and/or mental breakdown.

    • Of course, it should be worth noting that–despite dwelling in the ocean and his octopus-like features–Cthulhu is not sea life. He is supposed to be a being beyond human comprehension, therefore Aquaman’s ability to control sea life should not apply.

  3. Hey, if The Coon could befriend C’thulhu and use him to destroy hippies, then I bet Aquaman could at least get him to tip over a couple of whaling boats or something.

    • GeorgeDubya on

      That’s just because Cartman… I mean The Coon has weird charismatic powers that allow him to have anyone under his sway, for a time, and then they hate him.

  4. aren’t Cthulhu and the rest of the elder gods actually from outer space? by that rationale, no. should aquaman try anyway? hell yes. especially if it’s the brian blessed-influenced Brave & The Bold aquaman.

  5. I don’t think it should be an automatic thing like it is with a shark or dolphin. It should be a struggle. The crux of the plot. It could also give the Atlanteans some extra cool factor if they are the “front line” that is keeping such horrors from destroying the surface.

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