Recently, my wife has once again been entranced by the adventures of former Agent Jack Bauer, a grizzled veteran counter-terrorist agent born of the post-9/11 paranoia.  His particular skillset and bearing makes me wonder how Ol’ Jack might fare against the legendary British spy known only (and quite against his will) as Number Six, who seems his equal in intellect and in refusal to compromise his personal ethics.  (For the record, when pitted against James Bond, Jack wins in the shouting and emoting competitions, especially against the new brutish blonde Bond they’ve got running about in ‘Skyfall.’)  Coming as I do from a background of comic books and “Who’d win?” arguments, I’m always fascinated to consider whether James Bond could outmaneuver Nick Fury, whether Slade Wilson’s physicality trumps the Batman gambits of Elim Garak.  The possibilities are endless, especially when you consider that you could pit Vin Diesel’s Xander Cage against Sterling Archer, then sit back and survey the ensuing chaos, which leads us to today’s shaken, but not stirred query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) reminds you that this page will self-destruct in five seconds, asking: What fictional intelligence agent would you choose for the most important, high-stakes spycraft?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Sokichi Banba, A.K.A. Big One. Before anyone says “But that is a Super Sentai character, not an intelligence agent”, his team was created by Interpol as a special task force to combat a global criminal empire.

  2. Malone_hasco on

    I would go with Solid Snake from Metal Gear franchise. He is the man for solo infiltration operations.

  3. I’d have to go with Chuck, while he had the intersect 2.0 installed. He’s already a super smart guy and has a super computer with martial arts training built in. also, i miss that show.

  4. Bothans. All of them. There are so many of them willing to die to get the job done, that they could overwhelm any adversary.

  5. Oldcomicfan on

    While Jack Bower, Nick Fury, James Bond, The Saint, Mel (the Secret Agent Man), Number Six and all those others mentioned above were busy posturing, flexing their muscles and comparing the lengths and diameters of their members, 11-year old Flavia de Luce would sneak in and steal all their candy. If you haven’t yet encountered Flavia, you’re missing some of the best detective fiction of the last decade. Google her. Now, I am a great fan of James Bond, and have been since I first saw Goldfinger and Diamonds are Forever in the theater when I was 10 years old – but nobody has ever been able to explain to me how any of the popular fictional spies could function as spies since all the bad guys seemed to know exactly who they were?

  6. Yeah, I suppose James Bond is the natural choice. He’s sorta’ the secret agent to beat all secret agents. I’d take either him or Nick Fury. Fury is pretty darn capable.

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