One of the most devastating moments of my life circa 1994 came during an idle conversation about who we wish would play us in a theoretical movie of our lives, when a casual acquaintance looked me in the eye with the dream-killing voice of rationality and said that even if John Belushi were alive, she found no correlations between a comedy idol and my juvenile shenanigans.  I won’t lie, I’m still a little bit offended at her rudeness, but this anecdote serves to prove one thing: Perception is, to quote noted bastard Henry Ford, ‘more or less bunk.’  In any case, I’ve grown a thicker skin and stopped hanging out with self-involved hipster jerks, and these days I’m more of the opinion that I’d want to be played by Kevin Spacey in his ‘American Beauty’/’Margin Call’ weary-with-hidden-depths mode.  Sure, there’s somewhat limited physical resemblance, but something about the subtle mannerisms and vocal techniques K-Space (shortening already-short names is the cool, in thing these days, right?) brings to his every role, and I think his being ten years older is a fair trade for me being 150 pounds heavier, which leads to today’s cloudcuckoolander query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) reminds Faithful Spoilerites that this is not about reality or resemblances, but about positivity and the whos and whats of who you kinda wanna be, asking: Who would you most love to see playing you in a movie of your life?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Ever since I saw him in “DUNE” I have always thought that Kyle MacLachlan would be the best fit to play me in movie.

    He can play that great mix of serious while being the funny guy with that touch of crazy. And also keep you wondering how much crazy is left in there. (Which for me is a lot)

    His look and build fit me and my god he has great hair!!!

    Now we just need Rodrigo to write it, Stephen to Produce, Zach to do the Cinematography, and Matthew to Direct!

  2. starks scraps on

    Well, since my name is Ryan Reynolds, and I have to put up with “oh my god youre Ryan Reynolds!?” every single day, then obviously I would choose Patton Oswalt

  3. If a movie were ever made about my life, it would probably focused on my mid/late teens, so I’d probably go with Chloe Moretz (Hit-Girl from the “Kick-Ass” movies). And considering I still look like I did as a teenager, she could probably play present day 34 year old me as well.

  4. He’s about a decade too old to play me, but Jason Biggs I think would capture the way I am in life pretty well; from the trying to be cool, but a little awkward to the yeah I’m a geek deal with it attitude. Plus him in the opening party of American Pie is pretty much how I dress all the time.

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