Major Spoilers Question Of The Day: Who Better Than Art Vandelay Edition

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Some years ago, while out with a group of friends doing obnoxious group of friend things, a coworker named Denny informed our waitress that his name was ‘Enzio Beemish, of the Bayonne, New Jersey Beemishes,’ setting off a chain reaction of terrible fake names, including ‘Oliver Closehoff’ and of course, ‘Chuck Steak.’  Still, if the example of George Costanza teaches us only one thing (and the odds of that seem pretty solid), it’s that you need to have a good alias in your back pocket in case of emergency.  Unfortunately, not everyone can pull off the likes of ‘Art Vandelay of Vandelay Industries’ or ‘hand model connoisseur Regina Phalange’ (my college roommate actually inherited his nom de guerre of ‘Dwark Farquahrt’ from his father, like a family heirloom), which in turn begs a query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”), when unwillingly pressed for a name, has a tendency to fall back on ‘Carlisle Wheeling’, and will award large nerd points to the first Spoilerite who can explain why, asking: What, if pressed to provide one in a moment of stress and/or for comedic potential, would be your alias of choice?