Since the earliest days of comic books, there have been a few naming conventions that have popped up over and over: The [Colored] [Noun]; [Noun]man & [Noun]woman; and more and more in recent years, [Random Meaningless Adjective].  But perhaps no example of nomenclature has gotten quite as much usage as the permutations of the honorific Captain, from Captain Atom all the way to Captain Zephyr with stops along the way at America, Marvel and Planet.  Of course, comics aren’t the only place one finds that particular form of address, with Captain Video, Captain Kirk and more lining the halls of science fiction.  But, when it comes down to it, each of us has our own opinions of how, f’rinstance, Captain Han Solo might fare matched up with Captain Mal Reynolds, or whether Captain Fate can take down Captain Fear (though most of us wonder who Captains Fate and Fear actually ARE).  This, in turn, begs a query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) is torn between Action, Ultra and Crunch, asking: Who’s the best Captain of ’em all?

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

28 Comments

  1. If you had asked this question prior to “Torchwood: Children of Earth”, I may have said Captain Jack Harkness. But after what he did, I no longer see him in anywhere near the same light as I once did.

    So I guess I’m torn between Captain Marvelous, Captain Pollution (the evil duplicate of Captain Planet) and Captain Carrot.

  2. The Captain from Nextwave. He was so dedicated to being “a Captain” that “By his own admission, he used to go by Captain ☠☠☠☠, a moniker so offensive that when he met Captain America, the Avenger beat him severely and left him in a dumpster with a bar of soap in his mouth. The Captain used a lot of codenames as well, all of them starting with ‘Captain’, and had to abandon them all because someone else was already using them. In Nextwave #7 he mentions that he had to pay a “marine-looking melon farmer” to even use his current codename.” (Thank you Wikipedia.)

  3. I have to go With Capt. Mal. Not only did he have a level head a love for his crew, but had 3 seriously sexy women on his boat. Each their own flavor of awesomely hot.. That alone gets him in.

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