As a child, I was always puzzled by the Legion of Super-Heroes’ references to future sports like Moopsball, or Commander Riker’s tantalizing references to the gentleman’s sport known as Parrises Squares.  The references to strange sports seemed to deepen the world-building, giving us bits and pieces of a greater culture that wouldn’t have been the same had they referenced just plain old football (or worse, “Space-Football.”)  Though I’ve never been particularly interested in watching or playing sports myself, the basic rules and scoring strategies have always been fascinating to me, and it’s easy to understand those people who wanted to see an entire movie of just Harry Potter playing Quidditch, even though the rules make that game inherently flawed from both a dramatic and a competitive standpoint.  Making things even more entertaining is the ability to imagine Cotton and Pepper calling a game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket on ESPN 8 (“THE OCHO!”), which in turn begs a query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) would have made a great athlete, if not for all that pesky exercise, asking: What’s the best made-up sport of all time?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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18 Comments

  1. November 27, 2013 at 11:52 am — Reply

    Well I have always been a big fan of Calvin Ball. Never really could get it to work when trying to play for more than about 5 min. but it always was a good 5 min.

  2. TaZ
    November 27, 2013 at 11:55 am — Reply

    Rollerball

    • November 27, 2013 at 12:10 pm — Reply

      Good point! High Speed cyborg deathmatch!

  3. November 27, 2013 at 12:24 pm — Reply

    As much as I wanted to say Bouillabaseball (from ALF) or Blernsball (Futurama), I have to go with Quidditch.

    Or maybe BASEketball.

  4. Hirimno
    November 27, 2013 at 12:38 pm — Reply

    I’d have to go with Drownball from 8-bit theater. Not only is it hilarious but also not making any sense whatsoever.

  5. November 27, 2013 at 12:43 pm — Reply

    Calvinball hands down… that or … nope… Calvinball

  6. Ian
    November 27, 2013 at 1:13 pm — Reply

    Baskiceball

  7. Kirby
    November 27, 2013 at 1:48 pm — Reply

    Top 3: BASEketball, Calvin Ball or Blernsball.

  8. November 27, 2013 at 3:23 pm — Reply

    Blitzball from FFX. I wanted to play that so badly.

  9. Paul
    November 27, 2013 at 4:10 pm — Reply

    Blernsball from Futurama.

    “Face it Fry: Baseball was as boring as Mom and apple pie. That’s why they jazzed it up.”
    ―Leela

    • November 27, 2013 at 4:42 pm — Reply

      “Boring! Baseball wasn’t.. Hmm… So they finally jazzed it up?”

  10. mauther
    November 27, 2013 at 4:28 pm — Reply

    From moviee: Baseketball
    TV: Pyramid from Battlestar Galactica
    Misc: Urban Brawl from the Shadowrun RPG? Basically a combination of rugby and urban combat. Think Rollerball combined with Blackhawk Down.

  11. Ian
    November 27, 2013 at 5:43 pm — Reply

    Blood bowl

    • Ian
      November 27, 2013 at 5:44 pm — Reply

      Car wars

  12. November 27, 2013 at 5:48 pm — Reply

    Brockian Ultra-Cricket, You just can’t beat a fine day in the higher dimensions with a nice game based on intergalactic tragedy.

  13. Michael Lee
    November 27, 2013 at 6:10 pm — Reply

    What about The Prisoner’s Kosho? Trampoline martial arts, people. Yes, trampoline.

  14. Jason
    November 27, 2013 at 9:41 pm — Reply

    Death Race 2000.

    Carradine. Sly. Cool cars. Babes. Corman.

    What more do you want?

  15. December 10, 2013 at 3:34 pm — Reply

    FSL tonight! The the sport has everything a nerd needs, Time Lords, Vulcans, Spice. You can’t go wrong with FSL!

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